Sharing God's love with the world, one heart at a time.

In Memory of My Mother, Mary


Visit with Gram at Rehab

Visit with Gram at Rehab

There is no easy way to say this…my mother passed away on Thursday, September 17, 2015. So many emotions have been ebbing in and out of my being, however, right at this moment, I am feeling kind of locked up…like I have not been able yet to comprehend all that transpired.

The only way I know to sort things out and remember, is to write.

So here I am, with a heart full of pain, wonder, gratefulness, sadness, joy, and a love that is permeating through my heart as I never felt before. For I know that the Lord, and His Mother, have been with us each moment.

Being 88, my mother had been getting weaker and shorter of breath throughout the years. She was at a point where she was more than happy to just read, watch tv, or do her word search puzzles while in bed. She slowly started to choose eating in her room versus eating with my husband and me in the kitchen. Her appetite started to decrease (she was always a “foodie”!!!) and she only wanted very small portions of meat. Her short trips to the bathroom were more labored.

Then the breathing episodes started. After, and sometimes during, any physical activity, she would become extremely short of breath, and then start gasping for air. It was terrifying for her to experience, and horrifying for me to watch.

Joe (hubby) and I celebrated Mom’s 88th birthday on Saturday, August 8, with her. She enjoyed her favorite coconut cake, and we gifted her with the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy rosary that she requested.  A few weeks before, Joe and I drove her to Ohio to visit with my two sisters…I knew in my heart that it was the last trip she would ever take.

A short time after that trip, on July 31, I had emailed the following thoughts to myself, so I would not forget:

“Today I feel a total emptiness and sadness that is running deep in my being. I feel a deep sadness like I have never felt before.

I was talking to God this morning, and asked why has my mother’s life been so sad? She was such a beautiful young girl, and since that time she endured so much pain and struggle. Why??? Why couldn’t she just enjoy her life, family and friends, in a carefree way like so many do?

As I was asking Him these questions, He immediately answered me. He said, “Through all of the pain and struggles that she experienced, it brought her closer to me, and she will be with me soon.”

That is why I knew she didn’t have too much time left with us on earth. But I had no idea of what would happen in the next two months.

Mom ended up being admitted to the hospital the day after her birthday. Her stay there was almost a week, and then she was admitted to the rehab center for a little over three weeks.

With oxygen, nebulizers, and meds she had never taken before, she seemed to get much better. She actually had a good time in rehab…loved the food, received at least 50 cards and some beautiful flower arrangements, had many visitors, did well in rehab activities, played bingo, got her hair done in the salon…and smiled big when we came to visit each day.

One day my husband noticed that she was “down” a little…barely noticeable, but not quite as “up” as before.

We took mom home on Friday, September 4, and she was admitted to Hospice (in our home) the next Friday. So, in essence, she passed away two weeks after coming home from rehab.

There are many stories to share with you during my mom’s hospice time, and there will be many blog posts, I’m sure.

I will leave you with this: my mother had a special devotion to the rosary meditation. One of the promises of the rosary is a holy death.

At my mother’s moment of death, she just peacefully stopped breathing, and I felt nothing but happiness for her soul, because I knew she was with Jesus.

But that doesn’t take away the pain of missing her.  I know it will be a journey, and that the Lord will walk that journey with us all…leading us closer to Him.





27 thoughts on “In Memory of My Mother, Mary

  1. Berni, what a lovely and heartfelt reflection on your mom’s last days. Having been through a similar experience and witnessing my dad’s peaceful passing, I know the many emotions you are dealing with. Please know I pray for you each day. Much love to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My deepest regrets. Know that you all are in my thoughts and prayers! God Bless you

    Date: Tue, 29 Sep 2015 15:03:52 +0000 To:

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Our thoughts and prayers are for you and your family. You have accomplished a very difficult and challenging time in your life. Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Bernadette – I am so sorry for to read of your loss. I know that you and Joe opening your hearts and home to care for her came with a lot of sacrifice but if it is any consolation at all, you must know that your example forever changed my life. When you and I first started out as blog buddies, I was in a very rough place with regard to my feelings toward my mom – a position, if you recall, in which I felt completely justified in taking.
    But as you continued to share in your posts, and through our other communications, your example called me to a higher standard. It was a standard of forgiveness. It was a standard of love. It was a standard of compassion. It was a standard of generosity. It was a standard of strength. It was a standard of power. It was a standard to overcome. You did this for me not only in my relationship with my mom, but with my feelings toward my dad as well. I feel certain that you and Joe will continue your adventure and journey in the Lord, more enhanced through the experiences and sacrifices that you’ve shared thus far, and I pray that your hearts will be comforted and your vision forward-looking as you press onward. I love you lots – you are precious and have helped me more than you will ever know. Tina

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Tina,

      Wow, I hardly know how to respond to your heartfelt and kind words.

      How blessed I feel that God worked through me and Joe to touch your heart…because the goodness and strength that you saw in me, was the Lord filling me with His presence and touching you with His love.

      You have gone through such difficulty and pain in your life, however, never lost your ability to love. The forgiveness, letting go, and loving others in a radical (Jesus) way is a long journey, where our hearts are changed…layer by layer. Those changes are never easy, but are the way of true love, joy and peace. (reminds me of my favorite book “Jane Eyre” where Jane never lost her loving spirit despite all that happened throughout her life)

      Thank you for sharing your life and your feelings in such an honest, open way. You touched my heart profoundly through your inspired posts.

      Love, prayers, and hugs,

      Liked by 1 person

  5. What a beautiful tribute to your mom, Bernie, and also a moving witness of your love for her. I’m so sorry for your loss, but I pray that Mary will wrap you in her motherly mantle during these days of sorrow.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. With heartfelt thoughts and a loss for words to a Grateful Daughter ~ the photo reflects the sparkling face and twinkling eyes of a Mother enjoying the life’s joy of her family ~ God’s Blessing on you and yours.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute to your beloved mother.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Very lovely and heartfelt. May The good Lord continue to bless your wonderful family.
    Love you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Stella, we love you and you will always be in our hearts. The loving, compassionate care you blessed my mom with is far past what we prayed for.

      Thank you for everything, including the support you gave to us in my mom’s last days on earth. You are a godsend, and will continue to be so with all the people the Lord places in your care.

      Love, prayers, and hugs,


  9. I am so sorry for your loss, but know that God knows what is best for all of us, at all times. He’ll be your strength and never leave you alone. Praying for comfort in His Love–always. Love you, Mary.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. My prayers are with you and your family, Bernadette. Your love for your mom and all your memories of her bless us all…what a legacy to share. Thank you. Mary

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Yes, I know it has to be hard on you, hard on me too! Still in shock, I guess, just can’t believe it!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I know, Lisa. My heart goes out to you. It will take time to process and feel all the feelings of loss and sadness. I believe that after going through the grief process, we will all be able to see and feel all the goodness and all the memories from both Mom and Dad in a deeper and clearer way. I love you:-)


  13. I am so sorry Bernadette. Will be back to read the rest. Seems we have a lot to share, don’t we? Love you and God Bless, SR

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Thank you, SR:-)

    Blessings and hugs,


  15. You know Bernadette, after Mom passed away someone asked me, “How does it feel to lose your Mother.” This is what I told her, “It feels as if you are a baby in a crib. You have been fed, changed, and are wrapped in the warmest of blankets. You are taking in everything around you, and are smiling. Then you realize no one will ever come again with that most special love they have for you, and pick you up out of that crib.”

    That is how it felt to me, to lose Mom. That I would never be picked up in her arms again, with the unconditional love she had for her children. A Mother’s love. That gave me sort of an emptiness for some time. God Bless, SR

    Liked by 1 person

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