Since my mother passed away, my husband and I are slowly getting back to our life. After so many years of my mom living with us, and the accommodations we made in our life and marriage due to her needs and happiness, we are having difficulty figuring out what “getting back to our life” means. Our love and our marriage is strong, however, we are kind of in a waiting place…to see where the Lord is leading us at this time in our life.
There are many thoughts and feelings filling my heart and mind, and I miss my mother in a way that I never could have expected.
Her heart and spirit are a part of me now, and although she is gone from this physical world, I know she is alive… in and with Jesus forever. That doesn’t stop the pain of her absence, and also the pain of knowing the sorrows, struggles, and suffering that she endured throughout her life.
My dear friend wrote the following poem about her husband, when he was taken from her and her family. Her beautiful and comforting words touch my heart deeply and I wanted to share with you.
Today one more soul is heaven sent,
A husband, father, and papa to many has finally found his way home;
An eternity to spend.
A place of rest, where everything is at its best,
No more sorrow or tears to shed,
A place where all are heavenly blessed.
No more darkness or sickness; things of the past.
A home at last; to the Father I must go.
My time here has ended, the life we once knew gone but not forgotten,
I’ll be watching over you.
As I step out of this body and enter love’s pure light,
I look back at your tear stained face and long to tell you it’s alright;
The place I’m going, I do not fear.
As I run to the Father, life’s pains and struggles disappear;
And are replaced with everlasting joy.
I think I’ll be ok staying here.
Don’t you spend too much time crying over me.
Remember the good times and don’t dwell on the bad;
Take what you can from the things I have taught
And you may learn a thing or two.
Pay attention; tune your ear to the still small voice;
I am always with you, not so far away.
Just close your eyes, think of me,
And remember to smile;
I’m going home to the Father above.
From the other side, with love.
Written by Melissa Cox
somebodylovesmeblog 
November 5, 2015 at 3:54 pm
“Getting your life back!” Boy do I know that one!!!! I remember the Monday after we had buried Mom, I woke up and told my husband, “I do not know if I should get up and work or just sit here?” She governed everything for so many years. Taking care of her, the trips to the ER in the middle of the night, laundry, cleaning her house, taking her food, etc… When it was over Bernadette, neither Daddy nor myself knew what to do. So this is what I did.
I did for about two months, what I felt like doing. If I wanted to work I did, if I wanted to sit on a day, I did, if I wanted to go somewhere I did, if not, then I did not. I stayed there for about two months. Then slowly, life begin to reveal itself in a new way for me. I actually had time to do some things. On Saturday night after Mass, my husband and I begin to meet friends and take Daddy out to eat. It has worked it’s way up to going out with a girlfriend once or twice a month for lunch. For about two months though, I did not want to be around anyone.
I always say, “Alzheimer’s took my Mom, but death took her voice.” I am just now beginning to get over not hearing her voice.
You and your husband will once again, begin to pick up your life and marriage. I did not realize how much my marriage had been on hold, until it was me and my husband only. Date night is a great way to start, or at least it was for us. Playing board games if you like them, was another way.
I love the poem, and I read something on a blog the other day which gave me a new perspective. There had been a death of a friend for the blog owner and she said, “A Spirit a body could no longer contain.” You know Bernadette that made me see Mom’s death in a different way. That even though her body was weak and it had died, her Spirit was strong enough to get out of it and go to God. For some reason I found consolation in that. God Bless, SR
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October 27, 2015 at 9:02 am
Been really thinking about you and praying for you. Much Love, with (((HUGS))) Amy ❤
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October 27, 2015 at 1:55 pm
Thanks:-)))))
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October 21, 2015 at 3:51 pm
Bernadette, my Heart weeps with you. I know that loss and myself experiencing it after loosing my Molly cat who I took care of for 6 years as she struggled with heart disease. Her suffering I am so relieved is over with yet how I miss her so! I too am at a loss trying get to figure out what normal is again. This is really bringing tears to my eyes … my mother is terminally ill without much time left. God help me, I know what you are feeling! I shall keep you close to my Heart and pray that soon your tears turn to radiant smiles. God bless both you and your husband for caring for your mom. Bless you!!! ❤
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October 27, 2015 at 1:54 pm
God bless you and comfort you through your loss. I understand the grieving you are feeling for your Molly cat, having lost a few dogs throughout the years. Loss is always painful.
May God hold your mom, you and your family in the palm of His hand, and carry you all through the journey ahead.
For me, losing my mom is just overwhelming. She is in my heart even more fully than when she was alive…however, I miss her and understand her more than I ever even imagined. I am not sure how to explain it, but love is just permeating through me…since our hospice experience. I want to write about it but not sure if I could even explain what was experienced and what it did to me spiritually. (as well as my husband, sisters, and cousin who were also there)
Love and hugs,
Bernadette
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October 27, 2015 at 2:17 pm
Bernadette, now is the time for you to incorporate all you experienced, and then when your Heart guides you to do so, write it and share it. This you will do in the Perfect Time. I lost my Dad this past January … yes this year has been a major one for losses in my life … yet, in that loss, my photography has sky rocketed. What I mean by that is, how I am now shooting and editing I was not before I lost my Dad. I am somehow transforming my emotions into my art, thereby bringing healing to me. You shall do the same. It will just happen, and you will be amazed by you. I am stunned by the quality of of my images today. And I just keep improving. The Gift of your Mom will bring an aspect of your life into such beauty you will be just absolutely so grateful. You are in my Heart. With Love, Amy ❤
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October 21, 2015 at 1:43 am
Sending you much love and a giant hug ♡
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October 27, 2015 at 1:43 pm
Thanks so much…I can feel it:-)
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October 20, 2015 at 8:07 pm
Thank you for sharing this beautiful wisdom. Know my friend, that no matter what hills and valleys lie ahead; no matter what cross may be in your future , that God’s love for both of you is sufficient to get you through it. Cf. John 13:34 “Love one another [each other] as I God do love you” Pray much! Patrick
Date: Tue, 20 Oct 2015 13:38:15 +0000 To: patrickmiron66@hotmail.com
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October 27, 2015 at 1:43 pm
Thank you, Patrick!
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October 20, 2015 at 3:52 pm
Bernadette – please know that I am praying for you. I have not yet gone through this season in my own life – losing a parent – but I can only imagine the layers of emotions that surface during this time. You were a beautiful extension of God’s love, grace and mercy toward your mother and the quality of her life was greatly enhanced by being in a home filled with such fortitude. Stay strong and shine! Love you!
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October 27, 2015 at 1:41 pm
Thanks so much, Tina! You pinpointed how I feel…”the layers of emotions that surface.”
Things took a turn quickly once Mom came home from rehab, and it was really a whirlwind from when she was first admitted to the hospital. It’s like I need some time to just sit and think about all that transpired from that time to when she passed away. And all that occurred throughout our home hospice experience with her.
I really feel as though I need a few hours to just sit in a quiet place and go over in my head the series of events, and all that happened, all that she said to me, and the feelings and love that were so palpable that it was overwhelming. It is hard to find that needed time because of all that needed (and still needs) to be done, and going to work everyday. The grieving is right there, but I haven’t opened myself fully to it yet, because of the intensity that I know it will bring.
Thank you for your love, support, and prayers!
Bernadette
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October 30, 2015 at 7:36 am
B – You can’t rush the grieving process over the loss of a relationship that you have spent an entire lifetime building. Entrust your heart to God, allow your feelings, emotions and questions to flow as they need. Allow them to venture one way and then the next. Allow them to explore areas of anger and sadness, knowing that they will surely culminate not into a place of bitterness and futility, but will guide you to a place of reconciliation and peace. Love you!
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October 20, 2015 at 9:45 am
May you have patience and happiness in life.Stay blessed
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October 27, 2015 at 1:25 pm
Thank you:-)
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