The Monsters We Create

The other night, I happened to see a discussion of the movie “The Bride of Frankenstein.” Upfront, I need to let you know I have never seen a Frankenstein movie and have never read the book. It just did not interest me. Although I usually do not put any credence in what “stars” say, Drew Barrymore’s  words interested me. She said it was a beautiful movie, with lots of symbolism. She also inferred there was a strong ethical and moral theme throughout the story, and a person could not help feeling sadness and compassion for the “monster”.

My curiosity was aroused, so I watched the movie.

Then I had to watch it again with my husband. This movie was filmed in 1935. There are many scenes that modern movie enthusiasts might laugh at, because of the acting and low technology, according to today’s standards. However, what I saw was a truly beautiful film, with much symbolism and reference to God, good, and evil. That kind of shocked me…I was not expecting that. Here was a monster that was created from dead bodies, and given “life” by crazed scientists. When the monster acted like a monster, the people were horrified, terrified, so of course they turned against him. They did not understand him, and were too afraid to even be in his presence. The monster stumbled his way around, because he simply knew no other way. He killed a few people indiscriminately, some of them by accident.

One truly beautiful scene, was when a lonely blind man was playing his violin in his little shack. The monster heard the music, and was drawn in by the beauty. He opened the door to the shack, and expected the man to scream and run. Since the man was blind, he did not do that. He literally prayed to God in thanksgiving…thanking God for sending him a friend in his loneliness. The man nursed the wounds of the monster, provided him with food and drink, and even tucked him into a comfortable bed, so he could rest. He accepted the monster as he was, without preconceived judgment. Not only did the man minister to his new “friend’s” needs, he also taught him to talk, and shared some finer things of life with him…namely wine and cigars. They became friends to each other. Because of the man’s blindness, he was able to show love without fear; he did not see the monster in his friend.

At that time, some men who were lost, happened to come into the man’s shack and saw the monster. They tried to kill him, and pulled the man out. The shack was left burning, and you see the monster escaping out of the flames, sadly calling out for his friend.

I won’t tell you the ending of the story, because I don’t want to completely ruin it for you. But let’s just say, the monster ended up having more humanity than the humans that created him had. I know it sounds weird, but that movie truly touched my heart. How many times do we create “monsters” and then turn our backs on them?

We allow the removal of God from our schools, and then are shocked when throngs of young adults turn their backs on God and the Church. And then, because of political correctness, we allow them to continue on their Godless path without a word, because we do not want to “offend” anyone.

We allow and condone the killing of unborn babies, the “innocents”, and then we wonder why there is so much violence and murder…and such disrespect for life in general. Again, we remain silent, after all, isn’t killing a baby in the womb a woman’s right? Really???

We allow our children to play violent, gory, evil games for hours on end, and then wonder why they cannot relate to people in a normal, healthy, loving way. In extreme cases, they play out their killing games in real life. Again, we make excuses. It’s only a game, it’s only a movie, it’s only music. Again I say…Really???

We allow the infiltration of our society’s minds, including our children’s innocent minds, with immodesty, promiscuity, and disgusting behavior. Then we cringe and back away when we see the results. Physical disease and debilitating emotional and spiritual sickness, unwanted pregnancies, suicide. But we often just want to turn away from what we have created. We judge and point our fingers at the “sinners.”  After all they chose that lifestyle, and need to repent. Right???

Because of busy work schedules and lifestyle choices, we spend less and less time together as families. Family meals are far and few between. Because of “smartphones” and other technologies, we have lost the art of personal communication and relationships. Families communicate through pithy and clever phrases, and don’t take the time to truly discuss feelings, dreams and beliefs. Our children are floundering…they are hungry for unconditional love and attention. But we are doing as much as we can; our family needs our two jobs, and we all need to be “active” and involved in community and recreational activities. We are exhausted…no time for anything else. Right???

Maybe we should all step back, and breathe in the love of God. Maybe then we will realize all the monsters we are creating on a daily basis…once created, the monsters we would like to ignore. The monsters we would like to destroy.

However, those “monsters” are our children, our friends, our family, our community, our country. The monsters are us. Instead of going with our first instinct of turning away in fear and disgust, we need to  look toward God for the grace to love His children in blindness to their circumstance and guilt, and love them for the beauty that  He sees inside their hearts.

Jesus sees the hurt, pain, sin, and darkness that we all have in our hearts. He is waiting for us to open ourselves in faith, submission and humility.

That is how our world will be converted to a much more beautiful place. With less monsters.

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Trust and Acknowledge The Lord

My husband and I have been living here in Colorado for about two months.  Of course there are many stories that led up to this moment, and hopefully, many more stories and memories to come.

What is amazing to me, is the absolute beauty of this place, and how God led us one step at a time, to arrive at this very moment…surrounded by the sights and experiences that reveal His signature and His plan in our life.

Although, on the outside, it may have appeared as though my life has been easy and simple, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Actually, even I believed my life was “perfect” in every way.

I believed my family life growing up was loving and closely knit, and then I strived for what I felt was perfection in my marriage and while raising my sons.  I unknowingly created a type of “happy place” in my heart and mind, and did my best to bring peace, love and nurturing to my sons and husband.

Peace is the magical word for me…life was peaceful and happy, and peace is what I thrive on.

I started noticing glimmers that there was something wrong, when I would feel funny or icky when I was around my parents and sisters.  I first noticed this when I was in my twenties, and when I felt those strange feelings, I didn’t understand where they were coming from.  My family was close, and I loved them, so I attributed those negative vibes to my own character flaws…that I didn’t love them enough.

So I stuffed down those feelings…burying them deep.

This is how I traveled down the path of my life. Surrounded by the daily joys and hardships of marriage and raising a family, I focused on the day to day and tried to create a loving home, that was peaceful and welcoming.

What I was doing, was trying to give to my family what I did not have growing up. I guess that is what we all do.

I pushed past the many fears that I had (and still do) by avoiding them, unconsciously avoiding the anxiety and panic attacks that would be triggered.  Although I was starting to realize some of the realities of the childhood trauma I had suffered through along with my sisters, the revelations only came to me in unconnected bits and pieces.  As a layer would be peeled away, exposing a truth, it would take me quite awhile to comprehend and accept what was revealed.  Once I worked on that issue or memory/feeling, I would happily stay on that plateau…until another layer was exposed.

This has been my life for over thirty years. Working hard to deal with issues that keep popping up, and wondering why I can’t just let the past go and face my fears, which I have been admonished for by family members more than once. (this question was finally answered for me in this book)

I always believed in God…that was never a question for me.  What I was missing, was a relationship with Him, and strong faith.

When I was in my early thirties, I attended a renewal weekend at my Catholic Church.  One of the women was giving her witness of faith, and all I remember of her talk was “I forgive you, daddy.”  When I heard those words, pain and tears that I had buried came tumbling out in a torrent of anguish.

From that moment, I knew what the truth of my life was, and I knew that Jesus was with me …that He would never leave me, and that I would do all I could do to develop a relationship with Him.

Colorado Sunrise

It has been a long journey for me, and Jesus has never let go of me.  He has blessed me with my husband who is always there to love me, two sons and their beautiful families, and wonderful friends I have met along the way.

He has also blessed me with the gift of faith, that infuses me with the knowledge that all things work toward good for those who love Him.  I know that all joys, and also the suffering that is part of my life’s journey, will ultimately bring me home to Him.

This is true for all of us.

If you are not at that place of trust yet, take a moment to thank Jesus for all the blessings in your life, and ask Him for the gift of faith.  Everything will fall into place, but most probably, not in the way you would expect.  That is where the faith comes in. Click here for my post “Trusting the Winds of Change.”

So…back to our move to Colorado.  We grew up in Northeastern Ohio, and then lived in Northern VA/DC area for over twenty years.  autumns were beautiful in those areas, and fall is my favorite time of year.

We lived in Central CA for five years, to be near our first grandson. To learn how that fell into place, click here.   In that five years, another grandson was added to our family, and also two granddaughters in the Denver, CO area.  My son in CA just accepted a wonderful job opportunity in Denver, so their family moved to Fort Collins, Colorado, and so did we! The Lord orchestrated (through our other son and daughter in law) a way for us all to be living near eachother again, and my husband and I get to enjoy all of our grandchildren!

Central California has no fall…maybe a little tree or bush here and there.  So, I have been missing my favorite time of year…the colors!

When the beauty and colors of autumn exploded here, my heart just about exploded with it!  Jesus directed our path, and we ended up living in the most beautiful place I have ever seen in the fall!  Colors everywhere, and sunrises and sunsets that take my breath away.

Thank you, Lord, for the beauty of your creation, and for leading me in such a gentle way, allowing me to access the truth of my life, and for opening my mind and heart to your love and mercy.

 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28

 

The Desire of Our Hearts

Sometimes we forget that God knows our hearts better than we do.  

We trod along each day, searching for those things that we believe will make us happy.  As we attain our dreams and goals, we usually find that when we reach those goals, and actually have exactly what we were desiring, life still isn’t the perfect place we imagined it to be.  So, not understanding the truth and reality of life,  we move ourselves once again toward another imagined perfect scenario of happiness.

We all do it in one way or another.

It’s hard for us to understand that in many of life’s circumstances, there will always be a struggle…and with struggle, there is usually suffering.  We try to skip over the suffering part of life, because it can feel like the twisting of a knife in our soul.  It hurts so deeply, that sometimes we deal with it by ignoring or burying the pain.

That’s what I did for most of my life…ignored and buried the pain. I buried the memories and  feelings that I couldn’t bear to face, into different sections of my mind and heart…and lived  the life that I created for myself…my “happy place.”  For so many years, I strived for my own peace of mind, and to create a warm, inviting, loving home for my husband and sons.  All of my heart and soul were directed toward finding ways to make my family feel safe, loved and nurtured.

For many years, that goal brought me deep happiness, and I felt loved and at peace…until I didn’t.

Somewhere along the way, I started to become aware of a forgotten reality that would show itself to me in flashes and bits and pieces. Like the layers of an onion, the illusions that I held of my life started to peel away, one layer at a time.  As with an onion, the revealing truths that were exposed, caused stinging tears, pain, and heartache.

As I become more and more aware of my own feelings that I never allowed myself to feel,  and remember the reasons for the many issues that I struggle with every day, I am becoming closer and closer to Jesus.  Although sometimes things are unclear and confusing to me, I trust that I am being led to developing certain knowledge and virtues through the suffering.

No matter what life brings, or what pain I may be experiencing, I trust in the Lord. All things work toward good for those who love him.

God has always been with me.  He was there as I was suffering abuse and trauma as a child.  He was there with me as I shut down my feelings, and left my body, so I wouldn’t  experience the pain and horror that my little mind and heart could not fathom. He surrounded me with the gentle love that kept me together, until the time came for me to face all of what happened in our family, as my sisters and I were growing up.

Suffering brings us closer to Jesus (if that is what we choose) and helps us to develop love and empathy for those that we meet that are suffering.  Our eyes and hearts become wide open to knowing and seeing the deep pain and needs of those around us…especially when they experienced the same struggles that we did.

Our Lord doesn’t always protect and keep us from harm.  However, I believe that he is always working in ways we cannot fathom…giving us the opportunity to grow in faith, love and hope here on earth, leading us to the true desire of our hearts, which is eternal life with Him.

 

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28

 

 

Shooting Stars and Miracles

Sometimes I am not sure who really does the most “teaching” in families…the parents or the children.

In my own family, I know that my two sons taught me some awesome truths.  They helped to stretch me out of the confined box I had unknowingly built myself into.  As all you parents will identify with, the love and connection that my husband and I felt for them was something that we never felt before.  However, even where there is great love, there is always more to learn about what love really is.

It feels like both yesterday and a lifetime ago, our family had the opportunity to camp out at a friend’s beautiful property, which included 110 acres of wooded land and a lake.  We had a wonderful time there…it was the kind of place that was so far away from city lights, that the night was intensely peaceful and black.  When you looked up, you could see a sky filled with beautiful stars.  It was breathtaking, and so peaceful.  It was like heaven; our family being together in that beautiful setting, just enjoying the stars and the sounds of crickets and frogs.

My youngest son, Michael, who was about 10 years old at the time, was excitedly telling me that he just saw some shooting stars.  I said, “Are you sure that’s what you saw?  Have you ever seen a shooting star before?”  He answered, “Mom, I see them all the time.”

I told him I never saw a shooting star.

That’s when he uttered words that stay with me to this day.  He said, “Mom, you never see them because you don’t look for them.”

And guess what happened.  I looked upwards, and I saw a shooting star!  My heart was amazed!  From the mouth of babes, a spiritual truth was revealed to me.

God is all around us.  He is in the air we breathe, the sun that shines on us, the flowers and trees, the oceans, the rain that falls from the sky, the sounds and beauty of the birds in the air and all the animals, the moon, planets  and stars in the sky.  He is in our children, spouses, parents, friends, relatives, neighbors, and all the people of the world.

The Lord’s Holy Spirit and his miracles are always around us…why don’t we see them?  Why do we think miracles do not exist on a daily basis?

Because we are not looking for them.

Today, when I was walking and praying with my Lord, He spoke to me.  He told me to always keep myself open to Him, and I will be amazed at what is revealed.  There will always be a new thing of beauty to see, there will always be a new beautiful song to hear, there will always be a new opportunity to love.  God’s creativity is endless.

Are you ready to really look for God all around you?  You will find Him everywhere…starting right in your own heart.

And said unto him, Hearest thou what these say? And Jesus saith unto them, Yea; have ye never read, Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings thou hast perfected praise?   Matthew 21:16

Thou hast heard, see all this; and will not ye declare it? I have shewed thee new things from this time, even hidden things, and thou didst not know them.   Isaiah 48:6

Angels All Around Us

I would like to share an experience with you. This is not the only spiritual event that has happened to me, but for some reason, I am feeling compelled to share this one. My faith does not require any litmus test or miracles to prove God’s existence. I have complete faith in God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I also believe that God’s angels are all around us, continuously doing the will of God. Sometimes, I believe, we catch a glimpse of the angelic world. This is one of those glimpses.

When I was about 25 years old, I would drive across town to Mass early on Sunday mornings. My husband would stay with our son, who was about two years old, and very “active”.  Actually, our priest called him a “live wire”. Needless to say, I looked forward to my time alone with God.

It was a quiet morning, around 8am, and there was no traffic at all. The roads were empty. I was getting nearer to the Church and saw that the light was green up ahead. It did not just turn, it was clearly green. As I was getting closer to the light, a male voice said very sternly, STOP NOW. I didn’t even think about it. I obeyed and slammed my foot on the brake, and stopped right before the green light. A car flew through the red light. I am sure I would have been killed if I hadn’t stopped.

I have always known it was my guardian angel that protected me that morning. Really, what other explanation could there be? I have no doubt that heaven, hell, angels, and demons exist. There would be other spiritual events in my life that intensified my faith.

So, my question to you is, have you ever had an experience that cannot be explained in worldly terms? I believe that angels are all around us, and are working in perfect harmony with God. Sometimes, for a reason unknown to us, we are given the privilege of experiencing the spiritual realm. For me, the experiences confirm and strengthen my faith. I think sometimes people are afraid to share their experiences with anyone…maybe they just try to ignore what they know happened…because they cannot explain it.

Your experiences, together with your faith, can be a blessing that allows you to touch a heart in need. Whether or not angels are involved…

Psalm 91:11-12 “For He will give His angels charge of you, to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone.”

Matthew 18:10 “Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, that in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in Heaven.”

Psalm 34:7 “The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear Him, and He delivers them”

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New Eyes

This past post touches my heart in a way I did not understand when I originally wrote it. Hopefully, it will touch yours:

I love to go for walks during my lunch break at work.  It is a wonderful time to pray the rosary and meditate.  There is a beautiful, quiet open space toward the back of the building, and I usually feel drawn to that area.

For many months, while walking, I heard the words “Open your eyes and you will see”.  I knew the words came from God, however, I did not know what they meant.

While at a prayer meeting, the words were made crystal clear to me.  One of the women there spoke a prophecy…and I knew it was directed at me.  I actually got goose bumps. She said “There is someone here who is looking to see with new eyes.  I am telling you to stop praying in the old way.  Pray in me and through me.”  I understood that meant for me to stop praying to a God that is “out there somewhere” and start praying in Him and through Him…in and through my own heart and soul.  He is as close as my own heart. Isn’t that amazing?  I never thought of it like that…

Fast forward a few weeks…it was a beautiful Spring day…about 80 degrees, and I just HAD to go outside in the sunshine!!!  While on my walk, at my favorite place, I received a new message – “Are you ready to see?”

Up until today, I believed that the Lord was guiding me to open my eyes to the need around me.  I still believe that, and am working on being aware and keeping my eyes and heart open to see the opportunities of each day…and to show love in any way I can.  But I believe it goes further…

I believe that He is reminding me to be prepared.  As in “Are you READY to see”?  Hmm…am I ready to be used for God’s purpose?  That can only be achieved by becoming closer to Him, through scriptures, prayer, and meditation.  So I am really working on the preparation, so the Lord can use me, according to His Divine Plan.

Each one of us plays an important part of His plan, to share the Gospel of Christ and build His kingdom.  Are you feeling Him drawing you closer?

I am trusting that God  will complete what He has begun in me, and have chosen to turn my life over to Him.  “I am the handmaid of the Lord, let it be done unto me according to His word”.

Luke 1:38   And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.

Philippians 1:6  Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ

Ephesians 6:11-18

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Your Loving Presence

Thought I would share a prayer with you!

 Lord, please fill me with your loving presence, for I am empty and lonely without You;

Ignite Your fire within my whole being, so that I may love as You love;

Open my eyes to your will and help me to see your Truth.

Please send your holy angels and saints to protect and guide me through the snares of the devil.

I offer to you all that I am.  Please take my strengths, weaknesses and sins and transform my mind, body, spirit and soul to your image – for your glory.

Strengthen my faith and allow your love to shine through me, to touch a world in need. Amen.

Where is God?

When something bad happens, especially when it’s something so shocking and painful that we can’t even comprehend the how and why, we tend to ask the big questions.  Why would God allow this to happen?  Where is God?

I can’t even attempt to answer those questions.  Only God knows why He allows evil, sickness, and pain to exist in our lives.  Sometimes, we may feel that if our faith is strong enough, if we just pray hard enough, we are ensured  a peaceful, happy, successful, and financially secure life, without ever experiencing pain.  We fall into the trap of praying for the specific want or need to be answered in a particular way, and forget to add the part that says “not my will, but yours be done”.

Lately, I’ve begun to realize what it means to truly trust Jesus.  It means to completely let go, and trust Him with your very life.  That no matter what happens, you trust that “all things work together for good for those that love Him”. Your trust in Jesus no longer hinges on whether or not you get the answer you want.  You trust Him and know that all things work toward your good, and also the good of His Kingdom!  We are all in this together, and all play an integral part of the beautiful tapestry He is weaving.  Only our Lord can see the complete, beautiful tapestry of His plan…we are only capable of seeing a veiled, partial view.

I always longed for a true relationship with Jesus.  In the past, I based the relationship on whether prayers were answered, and what God seemed to be “doing for me”.  It was almost as though if I did not get the results I anticipated, that either I wasn’t praying correctly, or God just wasn’t listening.

What I learned to ask myself is – what am I doing for the relationship?  I expect God to always be there for me.  Am I there for Him?  Am I meditating, spending alone time with my God and listening for His loving whispers? Do I align myself with Him, and make necessary adjustments or do I go about my life, making the excuse “that’s just the way I am”.  Do I stand on the Truth of His Word, or do I listen to the deceit and lies of satan…..through modern culture, political correctness, and the entertainment industry.  Do I make the effort to  choose what is most pleasing in God’s eyes, or do I make choices that are most offensive to the ONE who loves me perfectly and unconditionally?

We all have sin in our lives.  The closer we pull to Jesus, and allow the Holy Spirit to enter our hearts, we will notice subtle changes. It becomes easier to pull away from sins that were strongholds for so long.  When we struggle and fall, we look to Jesus to cover us with His forgiveness and grace.  Sometimes, we feel overwhelmed by the burden of a sin that is so strong within us, even after prayer, confession, and repentence, that the only thing we can do is totally surrender it to our Savior.  He is always there for us, loving us and waiting for us to let Him in.  What are we waiting for?

So my simple answer to the question “Where is God?”… He is all around us, and the most wonderful and joyful reality is that He is in each heart that invites Him in!

Luke 22:42  Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.

Romans 8:28  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

1 Corinthians 2:9  But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

How Long Will You Choose to Wait?

Thought this was worth reposting:

Today, I received the following words to share with you.  I pray that they touch your heart, as they did mine,  and help you to grow in your relationship with Jesus.

Why are you fighting against me?  You have heard that quiet voice in your heart as I speak to you…but you tune me out.  You have felt the direction that I am guiding you toward; however, you ignore me and continue on your familiar path.  You see the wonder and beauty of my creation all around you each day, but you choose to skim over all those beautiful sights  I specifically  place in front of your eyes, and replace them with worldly glitter and gaudy replications.  And you wonder why you feel unhappy and that  “there is something missing”.

What are you waiting for?  Why do you keep me waiting, with my arms outstretched in love?  I ask you again, how long will you wait?

Are you waiting until you have time?  What is keeping you from me?

Is it…

Family

Friends

Date Nights

Work

Volunteering

TV

Music, Concerts

Reading

Movies

Sports

Addictions or pleasures

Laziness

Stubbornness

Or just waiting for the “perfect” time…

 

Take a moment now to breathe in the peace of my spirit.  You do not have to live without my grace and love any longer…it just takes a daily decision to want to be in relationship with me.  All that I ask is that you open your heart, and allow me to live within you.  Allow the Holy Spirit to heal the darkness that you are fighting to hide deep within yourself.   You feel far away from me because of the darkness that lurks…I understand that darkness and am waiting for your invitation for me to wipe it away  and replace it with my light.

It is your decision…how long will you choose to wait?

 

With more love than you can imagine,

Jesus