As I make my way through Lent, my thoughts are drawn toward the light and mercy of Jesus. What is hindering my relationship with Him…what is holding me back?
Fear is always what holds me back…but what is it that I am afraid of?
Maybe it is the unconscious fear of what lies within me.
I have always been the kind of person who prefers “controlled” light. Curtains closed at the brightest times of the day, sheers that diffuse direct light, blinds raised and lowered to control exactly how much light enters the room. All of that, because I do not want to see all the imperfection that is revealed when the sun shines through the windows unbridled.
I would rather live in my “happy place” where my home is just so, and everything is clean and tidy.
The light reveals stains on the couch, dust, and sometimes even cobwebs. It reveals the truth of reality.
I don’t want to acknowledge those hidden things…and would rather go through my life without seeing those things that I consider to be unattractive or damaged. However, by always trying to camouflage what is truly there, so much effort goes into the battle of constantly covering up the imperfections, that the issues are never resolved.
The issues, stains, imperfections and damage are always there. Some that we are aware of, and some that we are not.
When we make the choice to pull open the blinds of our heart, and invite Jesus to illuminate us, the Light reveals all…sins of our past and present, many that have remained buried, things that we never even remembered until revealed. All of a sudden, we are made aware of how we have offended God in so many ways, and are reminded of the times we have hurt others or drew them into sin.
The Light reveals truths that are unbearable to face…we can no longer camouflage the dirtiness of our souls. This pure light forces us to face the truth of our unworthiness, and offers us a choice.
We can either acknowledge, confess and truly repent of our sins, which will free us to build a closer relationship with Christ in His mercy, or make the choice to continue living in darkness, which will keep us imprisoned.
I choose Christ. I choose mercy. And I choose the light of his love.
May God bless you during this Lenten Season. Choose wisely.