somebodylovesmeblog

Sharing God's love with the world, one heart at a time.


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How Does Your World Change When Your Father is Gone?

How does your world change when your father has passed on, and is no longer with you?

“Papa Bill” with Grandson Joey

I cannot speak for all of you, for what your story is, or what you are feeling.  All I can do is share what my personal reality is…with the knowledge that as I continue to walk my journey, that reality may change.  As it has changed in the last fourteen years…since my father, Bill Makosky,  passed away.  To read my tribute to my dad, written a year after his death, click here.

When my father died, I went numb, and then into auto pilot.  So many things to do, so many people to interact with,  and so many reasons to stay strong for my mother and family.  Although my heart knew the grief, anger, sadness, and confusion that  lurked beneath the surface, I instinctively protected the depth of those feelings…and chose to reveal only a facade to the world around me.

My mother was alone after his death,  and needed to be with loved ones.  A year after my dad died, my husband and I  invited her to come live with us…which meant she had to make that very hard decision to leave all she knew, and the home that she and dad had lived in for most of their married life together.  She moved from the small town of Youngstown, OH, to Manassas, VA…which is essentially the crazy Washington D.C. area.  And my sisters and I, all did what we needed to do to help her purge most of what she owned, sell her home, (the home we all grew up in) and then move in with us.

Mom ended up living with us until her death, in 2015. During that time, I kind of took her lead, regarding her grieving the loss of my dad.  In the beginning, she talked about him a lot, and was kind of living in her own reality regarding the man he was.  It was obvious to me that they have always loved each other, through any storm that hit them or our family.  However, when she talked about him, refusing to aknowledge his weaknesses, or the way some of his words and actions affected my sisters and me, it touched a place inside of me that I could no longer ignore.  

Carefully, I would remind her that I grew up in our house, and I knew the truth.  As the years went by, she was more able to accept the goodness of my dad, and also the darkness that he harbored.  We were able to talk about it at times, and although we made that breakthrough, I focused mostly on my relationship with her, and kind of put the death of my father on the back burner.

That changed when my mom passed away, for then I was orphaned.  The foundation of our family, and the roots that connected us no longer existed.  No reasons left for me to gloss over the fact that my father is dead.  

He is gone. 

And I miss him very much!

How did my world change when my father passed on?  A few things come to mind…

No more “hi dads,” and “hi Buns” (he called me Bun) and seeing his face light up when he saw me and his grandsons.

No more seeing him at our door, carrying his paper, and anything else he decided to bring over…like coffee cake or donuts.

No more dad to call when my life was in turmoil…like when my marriage was young and stormy.  He would listen to my cries of anguish, then comfort and support me…while at the same time, never once uttering  a negative thing about Joe…my husband and his son in law.

No more dad to call when I was excited about something in our life, or when there were troubles or sadness.

No more father’s day cards or gifts to choose…or birthdays or holidays to celebrate together.

No more dinners together, and waiting for his reaction to the dishes I prepared.

No more arguments with him, and no more chances to view him from the eyes of one flawed adult to another…no more chances to pray for him, and for the healing of his hurting soul.

The world is still turning…hours, days, months, and years spin by.  And although it is a beautiful world, created and gifted to us to enjoy and treasure, I have finally come to the place where I feel the emptiness of being fatherless in this world.

It is a void that cannot be totally filled by memories.

However, my heart is miraculously filled with an intense love that includes the hearts of my mom and dad.  That love pierces through the pain and grief of losing our loved ones,  It is a love and warmth that could only come from the source of love itself...Our Heavenly Father.

May God bless you on Father’s Day, and each and every day that you are blessed to live and love, in this beautiful world!

 

Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.  Deuteronomy 5:16

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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The True Women’s March

unknownToday, as the 2017 March for Life is in progress, as it has been since the first march in 1974, I come to you humbled and contrite.

You see, since the so called women’s march that occurred last Saturday, I have been trying to stand for life in the wrong way.  I have allowed the anger and hopelessness to overtake me, allowing it to permeate into my own heart.  I actually could FEEL the presence of Satan…darkness, anger, cynicism, hopelessness, sadness, pride, hate, and confusion.

I made two grave mistakes.  The first is that I did not pray ernestly for the Lord to work through me and to cover me with His armor.  And the second mistake was allowing myself to get into a conversation…an argument…with the devil online.

With the Lord’s help and protection, I will not make those mistakes again.

How do I know that my standing in support of the voiceless unborn is the right choice, and that it is from God?  How do I know that a baby growing in her mother’s womb, that should be the safest place in the world, should always be given the right to life…to be born?  How do I know that the mother, that chooses to kill her unborn baby, will suffer from emptiness and darkness for her whole life, until she allows her broken or stone hard heart to be opened to God’s love, mercy and forgiveness?

How do I know these things?

The evidence is in the women themselves.

The evidence is in the mockery of feminism, that was shown in its full light at the so called women’s march last weekend.  It was in the disgustingly vile signs, costumes and spewed hatred coming from the mouths of these women.  It was the ignorance and confusion of those women professing to be more than their sexuality…and then wearing vagina costumes framing their faces.  It was seen in the rabid joy of women (and also seen on children and some men ) “celebrating” their cause by crocheting and wearing “pussy hats” in solidarity.  It was seen and heard in vile speeches given by celebrities, who portray themselves in disgustingly perverted ways on  screen or  through their music, screaming hate filled messages.

Is that what womanhood and feminism means to you???

Or could it be that true feminism is rooted in a quiet love and respect for God, family, country, and the empowering knowledge that our bodies were created with the ability to conceive, carry, and give birth to the greatest gift that God can give us…the gift of life.  The gift of being a vessel of His love…and saying yes, as Our Blessed Mother, Mary,  did, to His will for us.  For in bringing another baby into this world, we are expanding Our Lord’s Kingdom.  It is so much more than us…it is greater than we can ever fathom.

The march last weekend, and the many reasons mothers seek out and kill their babies while growing in the womb, are rooted in confusion, fear, hatred, sadness, selfishness, isolation, pride, arrogance, and despair.  This was easily seen and heard while viewing the march, and listening to the protesters and speakers. The body language and the eyes to their souls sadly spoke volumes to me.

The March for Life that is occurring right now, features speakers and protesters that are rooted in love, mercy, humbleness, inner joy, faith, hope, selflessness, and the desire to reach out, with their hearts, hands and resources…to be of support to hurting  women, through the whole process of pregnancy and beyond.  To be there for them in friendship and love, helping to ensure that they, and their babies, have the support, love and necessities for as long as they need it.

Which woman are you?  What is the root of your beliefs?

Much to think about…

I ask God for forgiveness for allowing Satan to enter my heart through this past week.  I ask that He forgive me for not seeing past the actions and the vulgar, hateful  words spewed…for not looking for Him in their hearts and souls.  For not seeing the hurt and pain that reside deep within them.

For, instead of judging them, I should have been praying for love, mercy and joy to enter their hearts and lives.

Always knowing that I am too weak to always extend love and mercy on my own.  It is only when I am protected by the Armor of God…and willing to be His vessel… that HIS love may shine from my heart.

May God bless all of us and our country!

rachelsvineyard.org 

www.abbyjohnson.org

 

 


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Yes, Jesus loves you. Do you love Him?

Lately I have been really noticing a pattern among many Christians who remain in darkness.

The darkness may lie in depression, family or relationship issues, finances, addictions, and/or emotional, spiritual, mental or physical ailments.

Over and over, in their suffering, I hear them profess how much Jesus loves them.   And then I see the same people  post on their social media sites, that they love Jesus, and trust Him to heal them and answer their prayers. Years go by, and they remain in their same anguish.

When I see and hear the pain they are experiencing, my heart aches for them, and I pray for total healing in their lives.

The troubling pattern is this…many of these same people do not understand that believing that Jesus loves them is only the start.

Even Satan and his demons know that Jesus is God.

Relationship with Jesus is the open, acceptance of His gift of salvation to all of us.

The gift sits there, unopened, until we make the free choice to accept it, and open it. Once opened, do we choose to just let it sit there, or do we interact with Jesus in thanksgiving?

In other words, do we choose to have a relationship with Jesus, or do we just lean on the knowledge that Jesus loves us no matter what?

In a loving, happy relationship, do we just sit back and bask in the love offered to us, selfishly saying “he/she will always love me no matter what I do?”

Do we intentionally dishonor our loved one, by publicly announcing honor and support for another…that is in total opposition or disrespect to our beloved?

Or do we interact with that love…making sure to spend time with our loved one, forsaking others due to our commitment, sacrificing our wants and needs in order to please our loved one, making changes in our behaviors that may hurt our relationship. Thinking of “we” instead of “me.”

Do we do these things in a loving human relationship, however, not so much when it concerns our relationship with Christ?

As Christians, each day brings us opportunities to align ourselves more closely with Jesus.   Many things we are doing that keep us at arm’s length from His total love and mercy. For some reason, we hold back, and look to the world for the answers. We keep looking toward other sources for our happiness, love and “warm fuzzies”.

This is a grave mistake that keeps us from full relationship with Jesus. “Warm fuzzies” do not offer us love, mercy and salvation.

First, let me make perfectly clear, I know that I personally struggle or have struggled with many of these, or other, things. These observations are meant to shine a light on possible ways that we are damaging our relationship with Jesus, thus remaining in “the muck and darkness” year after year.

Little or big doors that we crack open that allow Satan or his demons to enter into our souls, and lives.

Many times we even forget these doors were once opened, or we are unaware at all. I can tell you, that Satan has not forgotten. He uses any point of entry that he can find…he uses our weaknesses, our curiosity, our pride, and our ignorance to infiltrate our lives and souls.

 

Some of the dangerous things I am noticing that are being shared on social media, by Christians, that jump out at me:

Interaction with or sharing of horoscope info

Belief or interest in mediums

Posting memes and/or belief in New Age philosophies

Dabbling in “cute” witchcraft or spells

Claiming to be a Christian, while promoting other World Religions. I am not talking about being tolerant of other religions, which we are called to do. I am talking about treating all religions as though they are one of many truths. In fact, in many cases, sharing quotes from secular sources, and other religions with more ardor than Christianity. As though it is almost an embarrassment to proclaim Christian values, customs, beliefs, and truths.

Worshiping “Mother Earth” instead of The Creator

Taking part and promoting entertainment…movies, books, magazine, games…that are in opposition to God

Spewing hatred, as in labeling and name-calling, toward specific people that we disagree with, instead of simply professing our stand, and praying for and with them.

Professing love for God with words only…and not by showing day to day loving actions and change in our lives

Any of these things, or something I haven’t mentioned, could be part of the darkness you are living in. Confession, and repentance in any area that is in opposition to Our Lord, will allow the light of the Holy Spirit to heal you, inside and out. This total healing may happen in an instant, or may happen gradually, as you grow in faith.  The key is to invite the Holy Spirit to illuminate you and fill your soul with His Holy Presence…and then place your trust in God.

Sometimes, the Lord will allow certain things to remain in your life to help you on your journey to Him, or for His glory. When you are filled with the Holy Spirit, you will live with a deep joy that will help you through any struggle in this life, and you will learn to look to Him in confidence and trust.

Remember, Jesus will always love you! Are you showing your love for Jesus?

 

19 Now the works of the flesh are obvious: fornication, impurity, licentiousness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, anger, quarrels, dissensions, factions, 21 envy,[a] drunkenness, carousing, and things like these. I am warning you, as I warned you before: those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.  Galatians 5:19-21

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
 John 14:6

They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator–who is forever praised. Amen.  Romans 1:25

 

 

 

 

 

 


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Welcome to Our World!

Brayden1

Yesterday our first grandchild was born, and our little world was once again changed in a way we could not imagine.    Little sweet Brayden opened his eyes after a very long labor, to finally break through into the sights, sounds and feel  of this world.

I thought I already loved my son and daughter in law as much as humanly possible.  I thought wrong.  After sharing in their experience long distance,  the intensity and scope of pain that  my daughter in law, Melissa endured, and watching my son, Joe, being there for her, my heart is just overflowing in love for them and for this sweet baby who will change their hearts and lives forever.  The struggle and pain of the labor that Melissa suffered through was evident.  However, sometimes, we are never fully aware of the pain and helplessness that is felt when one  is called to watch a loved one suffer.  Joe was there to support and help to make his wife as comfortable as possible, however, he was unable to take away or lessen her pain.

Melissa was the chosen one for this particular labor of love.  She was the one who said yes when she received the news of pregnancy.  She was the one Brayden3who chose to be more aware than usual of what she ate, drank and participated in during her pregnancy.  She was the one who sacrificed each day…to assist God with the miracle growing inside of her.

She said yes to this divine purpose for her life at this time.    Joe said yes to being her husband; to being there always to love, honor, respect, and protect her and this new baby, in any way that it took.  And yesterday, that meant saying yes to being helpless as he watched his wife suffer so much pain.

Little Brayden has already started the change that will occur in all the lives he touches.  When my husband and I look at the pictures of our new grandson, we see a miracle.  It is almost overwhelming that our son now has a son.  We also know how the Lord will use this little one to mold and teach all of us…but most of all, his parents.  They will learn love in a way they never thought possible.  They will learn what it truly means to be selfless.  They will experience joy like never before, but will also experience doubts, confusion, frustration, and the ups and downs that life brings.Brayden2

Each one of us has a unique purpose, and must journey down the individual road that God has paved for us.  We all have our own vocations and gifts.  For Joe and Melissa their journey is starting with their newborn son that God blessed them with.  For others it might be a different path.  However, the path that the Lord paves for all of us is in love and through love…and is meant to draw us closer to Him. 

Will we choose to say yes?

Welcome to our world and to our family, baby Brayden!  We thank God for you and look forward to being a part of your life, watching you grow, and learning from your innocence and wide-eyed wonder!

 


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This is the Day

This is the day the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it!

This is the last day of 2015.  Usually, it is a day of pondering all that has happened in the last year, and wondering what the new year will bring.  Many will also start lists of resolutions in order to better their lives, or the lives of their families.

All of these things are good, when we keep them in the right context of our lives.

I decided to do something different this year. Instead of looking back, and looking forward, I am choosing to be in the moment. The Lord has given me this day…this moment.  What will I do with it?

As my day unfolds, I will stay open to His voice.  I will open my heart to His presence in a purposeful way.

How many times will He put new souls in front of me?  I will keep open to the Holy Spirit, and really SEE each person…including the ones I see every day.   I ask the Lord to allow me to be a vessel, so that His love pours out of me through a smile, words exchanged, or a kindness.

As I go through my day, I choose to focus on the blessings in my life…they are countless!  My greatest blessing is my husband and our marriage.  Thank you, Jesus, for a marriage relationship so strong that we are one in all ways.  Because YOU live in us and bind us together in and through YOU. 

Thank you for my sons, their wives, and our first grandson, who is due to enter our physical world in February.

Thank you for the family that you designed me to be a part of.  For my sisters and their families and friends.

Thank you for the friends that are deeply intertwined in my heart and always there for me…help me to always be there for them in their need.

Thank you for the beautiful home, which to this day, I am amazed that we have been blessed with.

Thank you for the comforts you are providing…plentiful food and drink, accessible water, a heating system that keeps us cozy, inspiring and entertaining books, beautiful music, movies that fill my heart with faith, love and hope.

Thank you for always providing our needs and the desires of our hearts…for your Holy Spirit knows those true desires and needs in a way that we cannot even comprehend.

Thank you for the difficulties of this day and this moment.  I trust that all things work toward good for those who love You.

Yes,  sometimes it is very appropriate to look back, remember, savor the past.  And in the hope of the Lord, to look forward to the New Year and our future in Him.

But, for me, TODAY, I choose to live in this present moment of love.

This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!

 

 

 


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True Source of Love

In the last week or so, my eyes and heart have been more fully opened to the daily struggles that oftentimes hinder joy, happiness and an intimate relationship with Jesus.  In fact,  many times the circumstances of life are proclaimed as the reason for lack of faith…souls in despair and darkness choose to blame God for their plight instead of inviting God into their lives and submitting their sins, struggle, and pain to Him.  Through that choice…made in stubbornness, fear, pride, or through the pain and deception of the evil one, darkness overtakes the life and very soul, leading to a life devoid of true love and joy.

These struggling souls do not need our condemnation.  What they need is prayer, that the Holy Spirit may cover them with love and peace, and that their hearts are opened to the intense love, mercy, and saving grace that only Jesus can provide.  They hunger for us to be strong enough in our relationship with Christ, that we can overlook the darkness and look for the spark of Jesus in their hearts.  They need our faith to be strong enough to be a light in their darkness…that we love and not judge. 

We have no idea how these souls arrived at the place where they are suffering and ‘stuck.’  They may or may not know.  However, the Holy Spirit knows the depth of each and every soul, and knows the root causes of choices made and the events that led to the damage in their hearts.

All of us have experienced pain, despair and darkness at different times in our lives.  It is only the saving grace of Jesus that set us free.  It is only the divine mercy and love of Jesus that fills our hearts and beings with an indescribable joy and peace.

This is the essence of Christianity…the desire to share this amazing love with as many hearts as we can.

Let’s take this day to offer our prayers to the Lord for someone in our lives that is suffering and in darkness.  Maybe we have tried to share Jesus with them, and they scoff or close their hearts.  They may even show intense anger when the name of Jesus is spoken.  Maybe we have provided for their needs, and given what we thought they needed, in love. However, those things are not their true need.

We must remember that their souls are crying out for the healing love of Jesus, even when they proclaim the opposite.

Let’s never forget where the TRUE SOURCE of love resides…

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.  Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.  1 John 4:7-8

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  Colossians 3:12-13

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.  1 Peter 4:8

 

 

 


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True Freedom of Choice

Each and every day we are given countless opportunities to choose between good and evil, true joy and despair, and the choice to find beauty in all situations.  Let us open our hearts to the Holy Spirit, so that we are led to the choices that are bathed in Christ’s love.

Let’s make the choice:

To see the good in others and ourselves;

To fill our minds and hearts with goodness and light instead of darkness  and evil;

To enjoy music, movies, books, and magazines that glorify our Father in Heaven and lead us to Him;

To share our blessings;

To help those in need and suffering;

To pray for others and a world in need, especially for those that hurt us or treat us badly and the ones we disagree with;

To boldly take a stand for the sanctity of the life that was given to all from God; from the miracle of conception through natural death;

To look toward Jesus in all things.

For true freedom is the freedom to choose good, and the freedom from the bondage of sin and evil.

Thank you, Jesus!  Praise your holy name!

Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God.  Romans 8:21

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.  2 Timothy 1:7

As free, and not using your liberty for a cloke of maliciousness, but as the servants of God.  1 Peter 2:16