somebodylovesmeblog

Sharing God's love with the world, one heart at a time.


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It’s Not All About Me

There was a long time in my life, where I was searching for my “purpose,” and trying to figure out what it meant to be me. Day by day life was sometimes a struggle for me, and I constantly compared myself to what the world deems as important, or successful.

Since I lived a simple life, and chose to be a wife, mother, and homemaker, versus a successful business woman or rocket scientist, I was lead to believe that somehow I was a failure as a woman.  That I was a let down to the feminists of this culture…who seem to thrive on the “me first” philosophy of life, and the idea that children or family should never hold a woman back from the glory that she is…or should be.

I was being pulled in two opposite directions.  The world was pulling me in the direction of finding what “I” needed to be happy, and my heart was pulling me in the direction of striving to find ways to make my family happy.

Searching…

This constant battle in my heart and mind caused discontent and confusion.  I had no idea what it was that I needed, and certainly did not know who this elusive “me” was.   Down deep, I knew that there was much to learn about myself, and knew that it would not be an easy thing…to find my true purpose, and to feel comfortable in my own skin.

My main struggle was that I honestly believed that I needed to be perfect…look perfect, act perfect, and have a perfect family who lived in a perfectly clean home in order to be even close to the level of anyone  else in the world.  So I tried day after day, week after week, month after month, and then year after year, to look like all was good.

Except that I knew I could never be perfect in any area of my life, and so I could never be “ok.”  It was a conundrum.  And I went round and round, searching for who I really was, and what I was doing on this planet.

Even though I wasn’t yet aware of the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life, he lead me to the first steps of reading self help books, and then to therapy.  Book after book, and each therapy session  taught me one tidbit after another, teaching me to love myself and not to be afraid of asking, and sometimes demanding, what I needed to be happy.

When I found my “power,” I realized that I was ok the way I was, and everyone else needed to know what “I” needed to be happy.  It was a time of selfishness…it was all about me.  In the midst of this process, I learned to accept and love myself unconditionally…both my strengths and weaknesses.

When I learned to accept and love myself, somehow I was transformed.

Without conscious effort, I began to accept both the strengths and weaknesses of my family, my friends, and the people who were placed in my daily life.  I learned to focus on the good, and overlook the bad in others.  Miraculously, my happiness level rose exponentially.

It seems to me that Jesus was there every step of the way, leading me to continue learning  one more thing after another  that would ultimately bring me closer to the power of Love…to Him.

I started out as feeling inferior and empty, and then realized that I am a  child of God, with unique gifts.  The error that I made (and the same one I am seeing over and over in others) was to think that my happiness is the most important thing in this life. That I needed to focus on myself, and in that way, would find happiness.

That was a deception.

True joy and happiness is realized through reaching out and helping other people.  It is opening our hearts to the power of the Holy Spirit, and asking Him to fill us with himself.  It is looking for ways to be a blessing to others, and to be humble in our dealings with those who hurt us or cause us to be uncomfortable.  When filled with the Spirit of God, it becomes easier to see through hurtful words and actions, and see the hurting heart that lies beneath.

In knowing your true worth…that you are loved totally and unconditionally by God…it is easier to stand your ground in a more loving way.  Without anger, jealousy, or bitterness.

I now know that I “found myself” when I learned that my true identity lies in the Lord.  His love surrounds me and fills my heart.  This love begs to be shared!

It’s not all about me.  It is all about Him… that lives within me.  And my purpose is where He leads me.

 

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.  Philippians 1:6

Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—  children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.  John 1:12-13

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.  Romans 15:7

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31

 

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No Eye Has Seen

But as it is written, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those who love him.”  1 Corinthians 2:9          

 

This bible verse has been one of my favorites for many years.  The mere thought that as humans, our senses  can not even fathom the wonders that await us…prepared by God who loves us and desires to draw us to Him!

Imagine the most magnificent sights you have ever enjoyed.  They are countless, however, a few stand out for me.    The faces and smiles of my husband, sons, grandson, family, and friends.  Gorgeous sunrises and sunsets.  Never ending stars twinkling in a black sky.  A rainbow. Niagara Falls.  The beauty of one rose, or the splendor of a field of wildflowers.

Imagine the most beautiful sounds you have ever heard.  For me, that would include the consoling and refreshing sound of the waves breaking on the shore, the musical notes and harmonies of birds singing in the morning, and the pure delight of hearing babies’ giggles and the sweet voices of my loved ones.

Now, without reservation, imagine what would be the “perfect heaven” for you.  Our imaginations can run wild with this one…all of the things that we feel would make us perfectly happy.  What are those things for you?

Anything that our eyes, ears, and mind can reveal to us, will never even come close to what God has already prepared for us.  His love, mercy, and vision for our lives and our future with him are out of our realm of understanding or discovery.  Wow…we are so loved by God, that he has made preparations for us so wondrous, that we can not grasp the full beauty of it!

Now read the verse again…“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those who love him.”

“For those who love him” jumped out at me a few days ago while reading this verse.  I had never thought about that aspect of this verse before.

Many times, those that consider themselves “saved” will nonchalantly answer “Jesus loves me just as I am, no matter what I do” when confronted with the truth regarding sin in their life. Essentially, we tend to make excuses for our behavior, believing that Jesus will love us know matter what our actions or thoughts are.  And he will.

However, this verse does not say “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those that he loves.”  It specifically states…for those who love him.

Think about that…in what ways do you love Jesus?  In what ways do you attempt to grow closer to him?  What are the ways that you show him you care for him and want him in your heart…in your life?

In a true loving relationship, the focus is not on “me.”  The focus is, “what can I do to please my loved one?”  What changes in my life would  bring joy and happiness to the one I love?  How do I make a conscious effort to love God?

Dear Lord, please fill me with your Holy Spirit.  Open my eyes, ears and mind to the ways I can show my love for you.  Engulf me in your mercy and love, and allow me to open my heart as a vessel for your love to flow through to all who live in darkness.  Teach me to love you.

 

For from days of old they have not heard or perceived by ear, Nor has the eye seen a God besides You, Who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him.  Isaiah 64:4

But as it is written, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those who love him.”  1 Corinthians 2:9  

 

 


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Become Like Children

And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. “Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:2-4

 

This bible passage has been on my mind a lot lately. Probably because the Lord is using my time with my  grandson, Brayden, to teach me a few things that I need to learn.

Brayden Being Brayden

Brayden Being Brayden

Spending time with Brayden, and observing him, is one of the biggest blessings I have ever received. As any grandparent knows, this special bond is like no other…there is really no way to describe the love I feel for him. Everything he does amazes me, and when he feels any discomfort or pain, it literally hurts my heart.

“Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.”

 That verse got me to thinking… what does it mean to “become like children?”

Led me to think of the attributes I am noticing in Brayden:

Totally dependent in every way…Lord, help me to open my heart and mind to depend on you to provide for me and to carry me through all that life brings.

 Always learning and growing…Lord, as the years go by, help me to stay open to learning through Holy Scripture and the teachings of The Church, so that I am constantly growing closer to you, and more like you.

Authentic…Lord, help me to become more of who I was meant to be, by allowing me to be transparent. Whether that means sharing my joys and happiness with you, or being honest when I am unhappy, hurt, angry, hungry, thirsty, prideful, frustrated, sinful, confused or weak. For being authentic with you is the way to true relationship.

Filled with wonder…Lord, help me to always have childlike wonder, for you have created most amazing and beautiful things, so that we will know that YOU ARE GOD. Let me never lose the ability to look with wonder at the everyday beauty all around me, especially the beauty of the people in my life.

Intuitive…Lord, as a child has the natural instinct of feeling/knowing when “something is not right”, help me to trust the voice you have placed in my heart, that alerts me to danger and evil. Help me to always stay close to you, so that discernment becomes natural, and I can look to your truth to always guide me.

Learning to trust…Lord, just as a child learns to trust in his own abilities as he learns and grows, help me to trust that I am getting stronger with each step you help me make. Also, just as a child learns to trust those who love him, help me to trust you more and more, as you always love me, and are always there with me.

Persistent…Lord, when experiencing or learning something new, it is sometimes difficult and frustrating. As a child remains persistent in communicating his needs, and also is persistent in trying to overcome an obstacle or perfect a skill, please help me to never give up, and to remain persistent in reaching for you, and the divine purpose you have designed for me.

Seeking comfort…Lord, as a child seeks comfort when lonely, tired, or in distress, please help me to look for comfort in you, and to know that I am safe when nestled safely in your love and mercy.

 

See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. Matthew 18:10

Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good. 1 Peter 2:2-3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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This World is our Cocoon

Yesterday, while relaxing with a cup of coffee, I read through many of my past journal entries.  I would like to share this one with you, entered on September 8, 1998.

If only I had a shell to retreat into

Where no one could hurt me

And life would be safe and secure.

Or maybe a web, so I could trap

And contain all of the worldly things

That are dark and menacing.

Ah…but now I wonder…

Maybe God has allowed us to be placed in this hurtful world

To serve as our cocoon.

The world forces us to change and grow (which is a painful process) until one day (the day He has planned) we will emerge beautiful and victorious…flying to the freedom of His perfect love.