True Gifts of Christmas

This Christmas card touches my heart  all the way through to my core.  It was sent by a lovely lady (and her daughter) that I met at the Assisted Living Community where I had worked before moving to Colorado.

Sometimes, when you meet a person, you just feel a heart connection.  That is how I felt as I got to know Delores.  She was feisty, straight forward, and had a heart of gold.  She had a way of bringing a smile to my face, and somehow always “knew” when I was troubled.

I am sharing this card with you, because to me, it breaks through the “busyness” and sometimes craziness of the season.  All the gifts, parties, and decorations pale in the presence of the simple acts of love that are shared on this beautiful card.

Delores, thank you for the love and smiles that you brought into my life.  And thank you for this special card…it will be displayed during  Christmas for years to come!  I will think of you each time I am reminded of what Christmas is all about…and what the True Gifts of Christmas are.  Those gifts are meant to be given year round, and are healing and life changing for both the giver and the recipient!

Merry Christmas to all!

Advertisement

A Step Forward in Faith

Are you struggling right now?  Do you KNOW something is missing in your life…or maybe experiencing pain, despair, confusion, or doubt that there is a God that loves you?

There is a way to move closer and closer to Jesus.  There is a way to find inner peace even as you tread through the storms of your day to day life. There is a way to truly have faith in God, and know that He is there for you. Always.

KNOWING Jesus will fill you with such a deep love and faith… life will change for you!

This video is the testimony of young men who have experienced miraculous change in their lives after making the decision to pray the rosary.  Listen to their stories, listen to how their hearts (and lives) were changed.  Our Blessed Mother loves us so much, that she desires to bring us closer to her son.  She loves YOU that much…trust her to love you through your struggles, as any loving mother would, and trust her to lead you to the saving grace of Jesus.

Praying/meditating on the mysteries of the rosary is changing my heart and my life…in unbelievable ways.  Are you ready to take a step forward in faith?  May God be with you on your faith journey.

The One Thing Necessary

Wanted to share something I read today…it breaks through all of the excuses and defenses that we (I) carry.

The One Thing Necessary

“We all in a way harden our hearts a little bit; some to the point where they no longer hear the Word of God at all. There is always that one person that you haven’t totally forgiven or loved with a pure love. There is still that one thing you won’t give up for Jesus. You are still capping your love. You do everything but this one thing. Well, do it today.”

I don’t know about you, but I have a few things that are “capping my love.”  Mother Angelica has a way of speaking the Truth straight to the heart!  May we pray for the grace needed to help us give Jesus our all.

Taken from Mother Angelica’s Little Book of Life Lessons and Everyday Spirituality (Page 130)

 

Missing my Mom

Out to Dinner
Bernadette and Mom

Today is my mother’s birthday.  She passed away seven years ago, at the age of 88.

I am really missing her today.

Due to the intricacies and craziness that weaved the fabric of our family, I did not feel close with my mother growing up.  I loved her because she was my mom.  She was always there in our home, making sure that we were safe and well fed.  She had her own issues that she suffered through her whole life, that I was completely oblivious to.  All I knew was that I loved her and she loved me…however, we did not know eachother’s hearts during those years.  Due to the dynamics of our family, that revolved around the care of my quadriplegic older sister, there were no long mother/daughter talks, lunches out, shopping excursions or anything else that I imagine mothers and daughters doing together.

All of that would change when my father passed away.  My mom was unable to live on her own, so my husband and I invited her to live with us.  After a little prodding by my hubby, she decided to move from Ohio to our Virgina home, and lived with us for about 11 years.  As I get older, I am more able to understand how difficult that decision must have been for her.  She had lived in that home, (and raised four daughters in it) for decades.  We helped her to sell her home, which meant giving away and throwing away most of the material things that were attached to her heart as memories.

Now looking back, my heart is opened up to the grace that my mom exhibited through the move, growing older, and living with my husband and me.  She was a bit of a hoarder, along with my dad, as they grew older and less able.  Although it was extremely hard for her, she allowed me and my sister to clean out her house, save the things that we knew she would want to keep, and then move her into our home.

That move changed everything.  Although I was secretly hoping for that “magical” mother and daughter relationship to develop, what I was blessed with was learning the reality of who my mother was, and I also learned so much about myself in the process.

Learning about and accepting yourself is more of a struggle than I ever realized…and the serendipity in that, is that learning about yourself usually leads you to learn about others.  Both my mom and I had layers upon layers to be peeled away.  Her layers were even more stubborn than mine, and many remained tightly shut.  I learned to respect that in her…and learned to love who she was instead of who I thought she should be.

So, Happy Birthday, Mom!  I wish you were here so we could share some of your Coconut Birthday Cake that you loved so much.  And I could watch your eyes light up while opening a new Barbie Doll for your collection, or your favorite body care lotions and sprays, or some sparkly piece of jewelry.  Small things brought you joy, and you passed that trait on to me.

I am remembering simple, sweet moments that we shared together.  At the time, I had no idea of the value of those moments.  But I think you did…and I thank you for being the mother that you were to me, and for the love that you shared with me and our family, in your own unique way.

Some of the moments that bring smiles to my heart:

You always praised my cooking and baking.  When even I knew it was pretty bad, you would say, “That was different!”

When we would shop at Costo while I was pushing you in your wheelchair and you were pushing a cart ahead of the wheelchair.  You would have me pile so many items in the cart that I could hardly see to navigate your chair.

You insisted on buying  a “Grabber” for me.  I fought you on it, because I was “not old and didn’t need one.”  I think of you each time I use that thing!

You always had childlike wonder during holidays.  You loved things that reminded you of years past…and the years of raising us girls.  Some of those things that brought you joy were Jelly Beans, Easter Peeps, Candy Corn, Ribbon Candy, Flowers, Wreaths, Candles…the list goes on.  Christmas music and Christmas cards.  I miss writing our cards together, and reading the little notes you added to your cards.

You always thought of others.  Little gifts for friends/loved ones.  Many prayers each day that you offered for so many.  I am sure those prayers saved me on more than one occasion.

I miss the way you looked up at me over your cute reading glasses, to ask me how my day at work was.

I miss the way you insisted on seeing my outfit when I was leaving for work or an event, and always complimenting me. (it was nice to hear even if I did not always feel that I looked the way you said I did!)

I miss your blue eyes, and the way they teared up at Mass.

I miss the way you talked about how much you loved all of us sisters, and our growing families.

I especially miss the way you overlooked all of my weaknesses and loved me as I am.

I miss the way YOU NEVER GAVE UP.

Mom, you are loved and missed.  Hopefully, you are able to see those of us that are still living in this world, and you can feel the love we carry in our hearts for you, through the veil of heaven and earth.

Rest in the Love of The Lord. Until we meet again…

1 Peter 3:4: “You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.”

Deuteronomy 4:9: “Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.”

Luke 2:51: “And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reverence in Thought and Dress

This last Sunday I saw something at Mass that greatly troubled me. I waited a few days to speak of it, because I wanted to make sure that my heart was/is in the right place before bringing up this sensitive topic….modesty and appropriate, reverent dress when in Church and/or attending the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

My husband and I were sitting toward the back of the Church. When I saw what was written in large letters on the back of a woman’s tee shirt, (not sure of age or what was written on the front) I was just about moved to tears. In large letters it read….”YOU CAN’T EAT THIS.”

Wow…so sad that someone would think that was ok.

This is in God’s Church. The True Physical Body and Blood of Jesus is in the Tabernacle, and is being offered FOR US on the altar during Mass. If we truly understood the glory and majesty of God, and understood that He is fully present in the Holy Eucharist, we would know that it is a gift from God… that we are privileged to attend Mass and be in His Presence.

There are many ways that we show reverence, and one of those ways is putting thought into the way we dress…being that we will be in the Presence of Almighty God. I have seen many sad displays of dress (and “undress”), and have also once witnessed a teenaged girl with a short miniskirt applying lotion up and down her legs. There may be legitimate reasons for wrinkled shorts and tee shirts at Mass…I have also dressed in ways that I would never even consider now.

I guess, what I am trying to say, is to dress appropriately for an intimate visit with God. (as we would dress for any “special” occasion) Put thought into your preparation, in your choice of clothing, and also your state of mind and heart.

Don’t be afraid to gently speak with those you know and love, if their manner of dress or demeanor is not reverent.

May God have mercy on us and keep us in His care. JMJ

Reach Out Now!

Sometimes, the feelings that we keep hidden deep inside, are set free by unexpectant glimmers and moments.  For me, those feelings were released in a tangible way while I was grocery shopping a few days before Easter.

I have always especially loved Easter for what it means to me spiritually, and also for the traditions that were shared with me by my parents and family. I have attempted to pass those same traditions to my sons and their families, however, they do not hold Easter and traditions as close to their hearts as I have and still do…meaning that I was trying to celebrate Easter in a new way…without sharing Easter Mass, Easter baskets, flowers, colored eggs or a special Easter Dinner with our whole family.  It is a time of change for me, and I am working on what that truly means.

So… I needed to pick up some groceries, and when I enterd the store, I was overcome with the beauty of all the flowers that were being displayed for Easter/Spring.  Of course I LOVE flowers, and started to make my way up and down the displays…admiring the beauty.  As I was taking in the joy of all those arrangements, I was overcome with emotion.

I don’t have my mom anymore, to buy flowers for. I no longer have my mother in law  to buy flowers for.  And now I don’t have my sister, who was also like a mother to me,  to buy flowers for.  

In that one moment, such sadness welled up inside of me, that it was hard to leave that spot and keep on going.

Now, Mothers Day is on its way, and there will be no cards for me to send, and no flowers to buy.  The three women who were there for me, and who I loved immensely are just gone.  They live in my heart, however, they are no longer there for me to show love and gratitude for all the ways that they impacted my life.  

The older I get, the more I realize that the most important things in this world are love and relationships.  Actually, when I think of it, they are the ONLY important things in this world, because love and relationships are the pieces of ourelves that we leave to the world when we die.

Everything else disappears from reality when the ones you love are taken from you.

Be aware of the “loves” in your life. Share your time and your heart with them.  Take the time to bring happiness into their lives.  Flowers and love are meant to be shared during life…don’t put off and wait to bring joy to others.  Do it now.  

We never know what tomorrow will bring, or how long we will have with those that we love and that love us.

Reach out now…  

To those that are close to you, and also to all those that may need an extra little gift of love to get through their day.  We all know of or come across many through our day to day life, that are suffering inside, due to loneliness.  Reach out now…while you still have the opportunity.

May God bless all of us, and open our eyes to the needs of others.  We are all here for eachother…let’s find ways to lighten the burdens that are kept well hidden within the hearts of so many.

 

 

 

Share the Light of Christ

We, as Christians, are called to be lights in the darkness.

Sometimes, it feels as though the darkness that is raging in our culture and in the world, is engulfing us.  However, we must remember that through the power of the Holy Spirit, the light of Christ resides in our hearts and souls.  That light calls out to be shared with those who are living in the darkness.

Listen to the voice of God that is stirring your heart.  

There are people all around you that are suffering…all in different ways.  See and hear the struggles and despair of those that are in need of compassion, love and mercy.  Ask the Lord to direct you, so that you may know the needs of his children that he places on your path.  It may be a family member, a friend, or someone that you come across in your day to day routine.

Listen.

Listen to what souls are in need of. It may be that they just need a listening ear and heart. They may have a particular financial or material need that you can help with.  They may be hungering for encouragement regarding their faith. They may be in dire need of hope.

You may be their lifeline to Jesus.  Sometimes, a person needs to know that “somebody loves me” before they can accept that “God loves me.” 

Let’s take the time to really see and hear those around us.  Let’s love eachother and extend friendship and fellowship.

Let’s be that person who shares The Light of Christ.

Hidden Things

As I make my way through Lent, my thoughts are drawn toward the light and mercy of Jesus.  What is hindering my relationship with Him…what is holding me back?

Fear is always what holds me back…but what is it that I am afraid of?

Maybe it is the unconscious fear of what lies within me.

I have always been the kind of person who prefers “controlled” light.  Curtains closed at the brightest times of the day, sheers that diffuse direct light, blinds raised and lowered to control exactly how much light enters the room.  All of that, because I do not want to see all the imperfection that is revealed when the sun shines through the windows unbridled.

I would rather live in my “happy place” where my home is just so, and everything is clean and tidy.

The light reveals stains on the couch, dust, and sometimes even cobwebs. It reveals the truth of reality.

I don’t want to acknowledge those hidden things…and would rather go through my life without seeing those things that I consider to be unattractive or damaged.  However, by always trying to camouflage  what is truly there, so much effort goes into the battle of constantly covering up the imperfections, that the issues are never resolved.

The issues, stains, imperfections and damage are always there. Some that we are aware of, and some that we are not.

When we make the choice to pull open the blinds of our heart, and invite Jesus to illuminate us, the Light reveals all…sins of our past and present, many that have remained buried, things that we never even remembered until revealed.  All of a sudden, we are made aware of how we have offended God in so many ways, and are reminded of the times we have hurt others or drew them into sin.  

The Light reveals truths that are unbearable to face…we can no longer camouflage the dirtiness of our souls.  This pure light forces us to face the truth of our unworthiness, and offers us a choice.

We can either acknowledge, confess and truly repent of our sins, which will free us to build a closer relationship with Christ in His mercy, or make the choice to continue living in darkness, which will keep us imprisoned.

I choose Christ. I choose mercy. And I choose the light of his love.

May God bless you during this Lenten Season.  Choose wisely.

 

The Reverence and Beauty of Worship

When I was a very young child, I experienced the beauty of the Traditional Catholic Latin Mass, and continued to remember all that was a part of that beauty throughout my life.

 

As the years went by, I missed the reverence of worship in the Mass, and some things that were being done at Masses did not sit right in my soul.  I did not understand how all of what I was seeing in different parishes were allowed to be inserted into The Holy Mass.  It was very confusing and troubling.

This Taylor Marshall podcast explains what has changed in the Holy Sacrifice of The Mass, and reminds us of the true reason for the Holy Mass and the Sacraments. I learned much from this interview, and pray that you might listen.  May God bless you and keep you in his care.

 

Look for the Pattern

Today, I came across this post that I wrote years ago, reminding me of God’s Love and Providence.  Know that He is there, especially when we are not aware of His Presence in our lives.  I hope these words touch your heart.

Ok, I have to admit, I absolutely love playing a popular online word scramble game.  The kind that shows a bunch of letters, and you have to find all the words that can be made out of those letters.  If you don’t find the big word that uses ALL the letters, you lose.

When playing this game, I learned that the key is moving the letters around until you can find a pattern.  Sometimes it is easy to spot the word, and it is a familiar one.  Other times, if you just keep looking for a pattern and try it out, the word is eventually found.

Many times I never even heard of the word that is revealed to me.  I just had to trust the logic of the letters.

While playing the other day, the thought hit me that our lives are like the word scramble game.

For me, so many years of my life were a scramble, and I could not see any purpose or connection of one day to the next.  I was floundering.  The mixed messages from life experiences, peer pressure, inner turmoil and what I was hearing at school and Church, were scrambling my ability to see, think, hear and know what the Truth was.

My day to day existence was more or less just hanging on to the belief that there IS a God, and He says that He loves me.  I prayed, attended Church, and even was very involved with our Church Community, however, inside, I was struggling.

In those years, there were joyful moments with my husband, family, and friends, especially once my sons were born.  However, there was always a deep pain and longing inside my heart and soul.  I did not know where that darkness and pain was coming from, and I couldn’t understand why God wasn’t making it go away.  I could not see where He was working in my life.

Much like the scrambled letters in my word game.

Faith, spiritual growth, and the eventual opening of my heart to the Love of Jesus, has been a long process.  For so many years I have been only looking for the familiar patterns in my life, thinking I would be able to figure things out and heal myself with self-help books and visits to therapists.  Yes, progress was made, and I was enlightened one small step at a time.  But I knew something was missing.

Then, my journey took a sharp, unexpected turn.  I began to meditate on the life of Jesus through praying the rosary.  (something I never believed in before)  I meditated on the pure trusting spirit and humility of the Mother of Jesus, and how much God the Father trusted His Son to her loving care.  I realized that since God is my Father, and Jesus is His Son, then Jesus is my brother….that would make Mary my mother.  A loving mother that wants only good for my life.  A mother who is constantly praying, interceding and leading me toward her Son. The more I prayed, the closer my relationship formed with Jesus, my Savior.  I finally began to understand, that although I always believed that Jesus is the Son of God, I did not have a relationship with Him.  I didn’t know Him.

Through the Holy Spirit, I was lead to pray in faith, and to read spiritual books instead of “self help” ones.  I was being enlightened to READ AND TRUST the Bible, instead of trusting the scrambled so called “wisdom” of the world.

My foundation is now a firm one, and my eyes, ears and heart are being opened, a little at a time.

My journey with Jesus is just beginning.  There are many dark places in my soul that I trust that the Holy Spirit is working on right at this moment.  Many events that have occurred that have been scrambled from my comprehension…

In the past, I thought God wasn’t answering my prayers, because I asked Him to reveal things relating to my memories, and it didn’t seem as though He was allowing that to happen.  I felt like I had a steel trap door that was blocking me from seeing things that would help me to progress in my spiritual/emotional well-being.  I thought these things because I was unable to see the truth and the pattern of my journey. In order to do that, I had to look at my life through different eyes….see through the “scramble” and start to move the events around, seeing the patterns emerge…

because the patterns/evidence of Christ in my life were there, and the answers were there, all along. 

You see, the key to understanding, in faith, that God is always with you and working His wonderful plan for your life, is like finding the big word, using all the letters, in the word scramble game.  If you don’t find that word, you lose the round, and have to start over.

If you don’t put your faith in Jesus, you will flounder because you will not be able to see His work in your life, and will not see the pattern of your life.

Now, when I look at my life, I can see the pattern… the fingerprint of God.  He was there all along.  He was there loving me tenderly when I was afraid, lonely, suffering, and living in spiritual darkness.  He was there when I reached for help.  He was there when I prayed, even when I did not fully believe.  He was there when I demanded that He heal my heart…when in selfishness and despair I wanted certain people in my life to “disappear”.  He was there when I hurt the ones I loved the most.  He was there in my dreams, revealing bits and pieces of the source of my pain…ever so gently.

The Lord desires for us to be happy, living in His Presence.  The  mission of our life will be revealed to us…just be ready…expect the unexpected.   You will not find Truth and Peace  in the world’s scramble .  You will find it in the revelation of God’s love for you and the special place you hold in His Kingdom.

Never give up…always look for the ways the Lord is leading you.  He will speak to you in ways you do not expect.   But He is always there.

May you be blessed in the total peace and love of our Savior.