somebodylovesmeblog

Sharing God's love with the world, one heart at a time.


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How Does Your World Change When Your Father is Gone?

How does your world change when your father has passed on, and is no longer with you?

“Papa Bill” with Grandson Joey

I cannot speak for all of you, for what your story is, or what you are feeling.  All I can do is share what my personal reality is…with the knowledge that as I continue to walk my journey, that reality may change.  As it has changed in the last fourteen years…since my father, Bill Makosky,  passed away.  To read my tribute to my dad, written a year after his death, click here.

When my father died, I went numb, and then into auto pilot.  So many things to do, so many people to interact with,  and so many reasons to stay strong for my mother and family.  Although my heart knew the grief, anger, sadness, and confusion that  lurked beneath the surface, I instinctively protected the depth of those feelings…and chose to reveal only a facade to the world around me.

My mother was alone after his death,  and needed to be with loved ones.  A year after my dad died, my husband and I  invited her to come live with us…which meant she had to make that very hard decision to leave all she knew, and the home that she and dad had lived in for most of their married life together.  She moved from the small town of Youngstown, OH, to Manassas, VA…which is essentially the crazy Washington D.C. area.  And my sisters and I, all did what we needed to do to help her purge most of what she owned, sell her home, (the home we all grew up in) and then move in with us.

Mom ended up living with us until her death, in 2015. During that time, I kind of took her lead, regarding her grieving the loss of my dad.  In the beginning, she talked about him a lot, and was kind of living in her own reality regarding the man he was.  It was obvious to me that they have always loved each other, through any storm that hit them or our family.  However, when she talked about him, refusing to aknowledge his weaknesses, or the way some of his words and actions affected my sisters and me, it touched a place inside of me that I could no longer ignore.  

Carefully, I would remind her that I grew up in our house, and I knew the truth.  As the years went by, she was more able to accept the goodness of my dad, and also the darkness that he harbored.  We were able to talk about it at times, and although we made that breakthrough, I focused mostly on my relationship with her, and kind of put the death of my father on the back burner.

That changed when my mom passed away, for then I was orphaned.  The foundation of our family, and the roots that connected us no longer existed.  No reasons left for me to gloss over the fact that my father is dead.  

He is gone. 

And I miss him very much!

How did my world change when my father passed on?  A few things come to mind…

No more “hi dads,” and “hi Buns” (he called me Bun) and seeing his face light up when he saw me and his grandsons.

No more seeing him at our door, carrying his paper, and anything else he decided to bring over…like coffee cake or donuts.

No more dad to call when my life was in turmoil…like when my marriage was young and stormy.  He would listen to my cries of anguish, then comfort and support me…while at the same time, never once uttering  a negative thing about Joe…my husband and his son in law.

No more dad to call when I was excited about something in our life, or when there were troubles or sadness.

No more father’s day cards or gifts to choose…or birthdays or holidays to celebrate together.

No more dinners together, and waiting for his reaction to the dishes I prepared.

No more arguments with him, and no more chances to view him from the eyes of one flawed adult to another…no more chances to pray for him, and for the healing of his hurting soul.

The world is still turning…hours, days, months, and years spin by.  And although it is a beautiful world, created and gifted to us to enjoy and treasure, I have finally come to the place where I feel the emptiness of being fatherless in this world.

It is a void that cannot be totally filled by memories.

However, my heart is miraculously filled with an intense love that includes the hearts of my mom and dad.  That love pierces through the pain and grief of losing our loved ones,  It is a love and warmth that could only come from the source of love itself...Our Heavenly Father.

May God bless you on Father’s Day, and each and every day that you are blessed to live and love, in this beautiful world!

 

Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.  Deuteronomy 5:16

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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The Renewal of Your Mind

Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.   Romans 12:2

This verse speaks straight to my heart each day. With all that is transpiring around us on a daily basis, how are we to be transformed by the renewal of our minds instead of conforming to the world? How will we know the will of God…what is good, acceptable, and perfect? Am I the first to have ever been confused by this passage? After all, the Lord placed us in the world…doesn’t he want us to enjoy it?

Our senses, that God blessed us with, are constantly pulling in and processing information…whether we are aware of it or not. What I am learning, is that it is imperative that we make ourselves aware of all that we are allowing to enter our belief system and our hearts. We must make it part of our nature to discern as we go along our day. We need to think about our source of discernment.

Where do we find renewal of the mind that is the will of God?

Here are some things to think about:

Will we find it in the opinions spouted in the news or on social media?

Will we find it on the pages of the magazines promoting shallow and Godless lifestyles?

Will we find it while we read the latest best sellers? You know, the ones that are edgy and trendy, covering topics that deep down we know are “just not right.” But reading is awesome and shows an open mind and intelligence…no matter what the subject, right???

Will we find it in the movies we watch, the music we listen to, or the ads and commercials we are bombarded with?

Is it found in our jobs, our entertainment, our sports, our education?

Is it found in our friends and families’ opinions?

Or maybe we can find God’s will in our faith, and in our churches?

How do we discern?

We need to really think about this. Our relationship with the Lord depends on it.

The answer is simple: Through The Word of God.  The only way to discern the will of God, and to be transformed by the renewal of your mind, is to know God through His Word.  Immerse yourself in it.  Align yourself to His Word and His Ways.  His Truth is unchanging.

Pray that the Holy Spirit will guide you and fill you with His Love.  Pray for Wisdom.  Pray for His direction.   Little by little, step by step, your eyes, ears and heart will be open to His ways.  You will KNOW He is with you.

You will learn to discern.

You will start to notice the changes in your heart, mind and soul.  And your love for Jesus will fill you up and draw you closer to Him.  You will no longer be interested in the false enticements of the world, and will continuously look for ways to align yourself with Him.

You will find that you have no desire to be conformed to this temporary, shallow  world…your transformation through His will and His Word will  journey you toward  an  eternity  in heaven with your Heavenly Father.

Praise God!

 

 

 


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A New Chapter in Your Story

What in your life needs a change…a new beginning?  Think hard about this question.

You can’t fool God.  The Holy Spirit knows the innermost secrets of why you are the person you are, and where your struggles and pain originated from.  Much of the time, you are not even aware of the real roots of the fear, bitterness, anger, hurt, pain, shame, rebellion and anxiety that reside in your heart and hold you back from the joy that Jesus wishes to bestow on you.

In the story of your life, why do you choose to relive the same chapter, over and over?  What are you holding on to?  Has your reliving and hanging on to the pain and hurts in your life helped you in any way?  Do you feel free and joy-filled, or do you feel bound and miserable?

You can continue to lie to the world, and even lie to yourself, however your lies are ineffective with your Heavenly Father.  He knows the truth of your pain.  His love for YOU is so perfect and all consuming, that he sent his Son into our sinful world to take upon himself…all of your sins, all of your weaknesses, and all of your pain and suffering.  He experienced and felt all of that pain and suffering for you,  so you could be saved and have eternal life with him!

You may be asking, “Where has God been while I was hurt, abused, and shamed?”  Why wasn’t he there for me?

He was there all along and is still there….waiting…for you to say YES to him.

He is waiting for you to finally let go of the pain, which is so tightly clenched in your closed hands and heart.  He is waiting to hear you say,

“Jesus, I  trust in you.  I am sorry for all the ways I have offended you and closed my heart to you.  I ask that you take control of my life…my body, mind and soul.  I submit all that I am to You, for I am nothing on my own.  I have tried so many ways to heal myself, and I finally realize that your saving mercy and love is the only true way to happiness and joy.  Help me to submit all that I am to you, and give me the strength to forgive the ones in my life that have opened the doors to my bitterness and despair.  Help me to renounce the darkness and hardness of heart that permeates my soul. I pray that you replace the darkness with your pure and loving light, and infuse my heart with the intense love of your Sacred Heart.  Thank you, Jesus.  Thank you for never giving up on me.  Thank you for always loving me.”

I  assure you, that after you give yourself totally to the Lord, He will bless your life with a brand new chapter…leading to true joy and eternal life.   You will have a new direction, and your story of faith will be a blessing to many suffering souls.

Are you willing to take that step and let go?  Jesus is right there in your presence, waiting to hear your answer.

 


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Beloved Daughter

Today I am especially feeling the loving touch of the Holy Spirit through my whole being.  And through that Spirit, I am being led to share some loving words from our Heavenly Father.  This is a love letter to you, His precious daughter.

Beautiful one, this is for you:

When you look in the mirror, what do you see?  Do you pick apart each facet of your physical body, and compare yourself to other women?  Do you feel inadequate or inferior; sometimes even feeling as though you are hideous in one way or another?  Do you sometimes feel ugly inside, like if people really knew you, they would know how ugly you truly are?

The next time you look into the mirror, I want you to try something different.

I want you to see yourself through MY Eyes.

You were loved long before you were formed in your mother’s womb.  Each detail of what makes you “you” is like a brushstroke on the canvas of a great masterpiece. You were bathed in my loving light as you developed and grew in exactly the way you were meant to.  You are my special and lovely jewel.

You are beloved.

When you were born, heaven rejoiced.  Such a beautiful, sweet baby you were, my daughter.  Did you know the angels held you, and you were comforted by the tender love of Jesus?  In your helplessness and vulnerability, you were being loved and carried by a power so loving and beautiful, that sometimes you couldn’t help but smile or sigh.  Such an exquisitely beautiful baby you were!

As a little girl, you grew and brought me such joy.  Your zest for life, and your amusing antics.  The way your hair caught the light when you were playing gleefully, or the way it matted up after your nap.  Your beautiful innocence was shown through your bright, clear eyes.  Those eyes that touched me deeply because they showed the honesty of what was inside your heart.

Then you grew, and ready or not, you were a teenager!  I know those were difficult and confusing years for you.  I was right there with you, through everything.  When you were trying to fit in, and not seeing or feeling your true worth, you sometimes wondered where I was.  There were times when you were hurting, confused and lonely. I was there, holding you in my arms, and loving you, even when you did not feel me with you.  You were a beautiful bouquet of so many special characteristics that are yours and yours alone.

You didn’t see it at the time, however, all of what you were then was evidence of the beauty that was already a part of you, deeply rooted in your heart and the love I have always had for you.   That beauty was about to spill over, illuminating your physical being…laying the foundation  of the woman you are now.

What do I see when I look at you?

I see a beautiful woman of strength and character.  You have enjoyed many happy moments in your life, and also suffered through deep pain and anguish.  You have felt so weak and powerless at times…that is exactly when I carried you through.  If only you can fully realize that every single detail of you is beautiful and deeply loved.  You were not meant to be anything else.  You were created simply to be YOU.

Do not look to the world to see your true beauty, for the world’s view is veiled and tainted.

Look to Me.

Let go, and allow yourself to rest in my peace and love.  Submit yourself to me…all of who you are.  All of your strengths and weaknesses.  Your joys, your sorrows.  Your accomplishments, your failures.  Trust me – I will work all of the brush strokes of your life into the great masterpiece of my Divine Plan.

You are my beloved daughter, sparkling with a beauty more dazzling than the most precious gem imaginable.

You are loved.

Always,

Your Heavenly Father

 

 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.   Psalm 139:14

Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.  Jeremiah 1:5

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.   1 Peter 3:3-4