somebodylovesmeblog

Sharing God's love with the world, one heart at a time.


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Change the World

Somehow, the horror of the Las Vegas shootings sparked me to turn a corner in my faith life, in a way that I haven’t felt before.

More than ever, my eyes are opened to seeing a world filled with emptiness and confusion …allowing Satan to work through hearts without solid faith in Jesus and the protection of the Holy Spirit.

I am hearing and seeing pure hatred spewing from many mouths, from many different directions.  This hatred is revealed through despair, bitterness, deception, immorality, and the inability or downright refusal to accept love, forgiveness, and the mercy of God.  I am seeing much arrogance, pride and greed…which opens doors to the evil one.

No matter what laws are changed, or what the “experts” suggest we should do to stop the carnage, the hatred and evil seem to be exponentially growing.

Do you know why?  Because the government, the thought police, and new laws will never have the ability to change the hearts of men.  The only way to change the hearts of men is through God…the Holy Spirit.

Which leads me to what the Lord revealed to me last week while I was at Mass.  Since the Vegas shootings, I have been trying to attend daily Mass regularly, and have been praying that the Lord show me where I need to make changes, and how I fit in to His plan.  How I can be a vessel of His love, so that eyes will be opened and hearts converted.

When I attend daily Mass, I walk to the Mission San Luis Obispo de Tolosa.  The Mission is peaceful and reverent, and I feel encircled by God when I am there.

So, on this particular day, after I received the Holy Eucharist, I walked down a side aisle and passed the Tabernacle.  Out of habit, I bowed.  In a split second, I remembered  that the Tabernacle was empty, because the chalice containing the Body of Christ was removed for the Communion distribution.  At the same time I was having that thought, the Lord said to me, “I am not in the Tabernacle…it is empty.  I am now within YOU.”

Wow, that thought hit me like a ton of bricks.  When we receive  Jesus in the Eucharist, each one of us is a Tabernacle.  Jesus is truly within us. He is in us, and we are in Him at the same time.  He sees through our eyes, hears through our ears, touches through our hands, and loves through our hearts.  At the same time, we see through His eyes, hear through His ears, touch through His hands, and love through His Sacred Heart.

Doesn’t that fill you with joy?  Doesn’t it also give new meaning to living in such a way that our lives glorify the Lord?  He is living inside us…and we are responsible for all the places we take Him to…the images, sounds, smells, experiences, thoughts.  Nothing is hidden.  Nothing.

We, as Christians,  need to stop living for ourselves, and make the decision to live for God.  To be a blessing to our friends, family, and all we meet.  To constantly confess our sins, repent, and accept the Lord’s forgiveness and mercy.  To live in a way that glorifies GOD, not ourselves.  To pray and make sacrifices for forgiveness of sins and the conversion of souls.

For that is the part we all play in the Lord’s Divine Will…each of us in our own unique way.  We must be an oasis of light and love for the Lord to work through.  One heart at a time.

That is what will change the world.  Only the Truth and Love itself…Jesus.

 

 

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See ME

Today, as I was sitting waiting for Mass to start, I was looking at my fellow parishioners, and asked the Lord to help me find the best in people.

As soon as I asked the question, I heard the words, “See ME.”  Wow, the Lord actually told me to see him in each and every person that I come across.

Immediately, the commercial that is selling a prescription drug for a skin condition jumped into my thoughts.  The tagline is “see ME”… instead of “see my skin issue.”

Aren’t we all internally desiring for our loved ones, friends, acquaintances, and co-workers to see who we REALLY are inside?  Don’t we wish for them to overlook our imperfections, sins, issues, or flaws, and see what lies deep in our hearts? Sometimes, we don’t even know who we truly are, and can not comprehend the goodness or beauty that lies within us.

Actually, that goodness that resides in our hearts (sometimes hidden to us and others) is not us at allit is the Holy Spirit.  It is Jesus that pulsates in our hearts, filling us with his presence, mercy, and love… whether or not we actually feel it ourselves. 

Today, I was reminded again, to see Jesus in each person that I meet in my day.  To look past the “warts”…the flaws… and to focus on the Jesus that resides inside that person.  To look into each pair of eyes lovingly,  with the intention of drawing out the goodness.  Not to focus and judge surface appearance or behavior, but to attempt to learn their story and what needs they may have, offering support and validation.

When we can learn to do that, we will be true vessels for the Lord to work through.  Touching those in need (and we ALL are in need) with the love, mercy, and forgiveness of Jesus.

As each heart is opened to the Truth of who lives inside, one by one…heart by heart…the world will be illuminated and changed.  

Sometimes, a person needs to know that “somebody loves me” before accepting that “Jesus loves Me.”  Let’s be “that somebody” that allows the love of Jesus to flow through us.

Dear Jesus, I ask that you fill my heart with your presence and love, and help me to look past all that is clouded by the darkness of sin, and focus on the Truth.  That only You are the way, the truth and the life, and that you can be found in every human being.  Please open our hearts and minds to the knowledge that all we need to do is accept and believe in your saving love and  grace!

 

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but by me.  John 14:6

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God, and that you are not your own?  1 Corinthians 6:19

Above all, maintain constant love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins.  1 Peter 4:8


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Dreams of Love

Today is the day to share a dream that was an amazing blessing.  When I think about what was revealed in this dream, it fills me with the comfort and love that could only radiate from God, and strengthens my faith.

This soul touching dream occurred on the night of Sunday, February 12, 2017.  Hopefully, you will absorb what my husband and I did when we understood the connection between the two of us that night…that could only be explained through the power of the Holy Spirit in our marriage.

When I woke up on Monday morning, the dream I had the night before was etched in my mind and heart vividly.  In my dream, there was an older man that I loved deeply, that was dying.  He was lying there, and it felt anguishing and surreal as I was comforting him.  While I was holding his hand, he lifted his head, and his face was radiant.  I followed his gaze and saw a sort of rolling light/fire/water.  It was a soft triangle of light, moving in a live, flickering way.  It was royal blue in color and white toward the middle.

The light moved and entered the man, and then moved through him and  filled me.

It was the most amazing feeling I have ever experienced.  A warmth and love that is indescribable.

So…after I shared and explained my dream with Joe, my husband, he was quiet.  I then asked him if he had any dreams the night before.

He said that he dreamt he had died, but he didn’t realize he was dead at first.  He walked over to a fireplace, and at that moment he started to see in black and white, which let him know he was dead, and he saw that he was a spirit…like a white mist.  He saw me, in our bed, inconsolable.  He wasn’t sure how to help me, so he allowed his spirit to enter my body, and as soon as he did, I was at peace.

Wow!

Although this connecting dream, between my husband and I, was about death, it did not scare me or make me feel anxious.  We both were amazed at how the Holy Spirit has blessed us in our marriage, truly making us one in Him.  Also, we feel comfort in knowing that death is not the end…that there is much more waiting for us.

It is my intent and prayer, that by sharing this dream, your heart will be inspired with love, faith, joy and mercy,

God is real.  Jesus is real. The Holy Spirit is real.  

May all of us continue to open our hearts to God’s love.  Do not be confused as to where and what the Source of Love is.  It is not found in the world…it is found in Jesus.

 

 

 


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No Eye Has Seen

But as it is written, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those who love him.”  1 Corinthians 2:9          

 

This bible verse has been one of my favorites for many years.  The mere thought that as humans, our senses  can not even fathom the wonders that await us…prepared by God who loves us and desires to draw us to Him!

Imagine the most magnificent sights you have ever enjoyed.  They are countless, however, a few stand out for me.    The faces and smiles of my husband, sons, grandson, family, and friends.  Gorgeous sunrises and sunsets.  Never ending stars twinkling in a black sky.  A rainbow. Niagara Falls.  The beauty of one rose, or the splendor of a field of wildflowers.

Imagine the most beautiful sounds you have ever heard.  For me, that would include the consoling and refreshing sound of the waves breaking on the shore, the musical notes and harmonies of birds singing in the morning, and the pure delight of hearing babies’ giggles and the sweet voices of my loved ones.

Now, without reservation, imagine what would be the “perfect heaven” for you.  Our imaginations can run wild with this one…all of the things that we feel would make us perfectly happy.  What are those things for you?

Anything that our eyes, ears, and mind can reveal to us, will never even come close to what God has already prepared for us.  His love, mercy, and vision for our lives and our future with him are out of our realm of understanding or discovery.  Wow…we are so loved by God, that he has made preparations for us so wondrous, that we can not grasp the full beauty of it!

Now read the verse again…“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those who love him.”

“For those who love him” jumped out at me a few days ago while reading this verse.  I had never thought about that aspect of this verse before.

Many times, those that consider themselves “saved” will nonchalantly answer “Jesus loves me just as I am, no matter what I do” when confronted with the truth regarding sin in their life. Essentially, we tend to make excuses for our behavior, believing that Jesus will love us know matter what our actions or thoughts are.  And he will.

However, this verse does not say “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those that he loves.”  It specifically states…for those who love him.

Think about that…in what ways do you love Jesus?  In what ways do you attempt to grow closer to him?  What are the ways that you show him you care for him and want him in your heart…in your life?

In a true loving relationship, the focus is not on “me.”  The focus is, “what can I do to please my loved one?”  What changes in my life would  bring joy and happiness to the one I love?  How do I make a conscious effort to love God?

Dear Lord, please fill me with your Holy Spirit.  Open my eyes, ears and mind to the ways I can show my love for you.  Engulf me in your mercy and love, and allow me to open my heart as a vessel for your love to flow through to all who live in darkness.  Teach me to love you.

 

For from days of old they have not heard or perceived by ear, Nor has the eye seen a God besides You, Who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him.  Isaiah 64:4

But as it is written, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those who love him.”  1 Corinthians 2:9  

 

 


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How Does Your World Change When Your Father is Gone?

How does your world change when your father has passed on, and is no longer with you?

“Papa Bill” with Grandson Joey

I cannot speak for all of you, for what your story is, or what you are feeling.  All I can do is share what my personal reality is…with the knowledge that as I continue to walk my journey, that reality may change.  As it has changed in the last fourteen years…since my father, Bill Makosky,  passed away.  To read my tribute to my dad, written a year after his death, click here.

When my father died, I went numb, and then into auto pilot.  So many things to do, so many people to interact with,  and so many reasons to stay strong for my mother and family.  Although my heart knew the grief, anger, sadness, and confusion that  lurked beneath the surface, I instinctively protected the depth of those feelings…and chose to reveal only a facade to the world around me.

My mother was alone after his death,  and needed to be with loved ones.  A year after my dad died, my husband and I  invited her to come live with us…which meant she had to make that very hard decision to leave all she knew, and the home that she and dad had lived in for most of their married life together.  She moved from the small town of Youngstown, OH, to Manassas, VA…which is essentially the crazy Washington D.C. area.  And my sisters and I, all did what we needed to do to help her purge most of what she owned, sell her home, (the home we all grew up in) and then move in with us.

Mom ended up living with us until her death, in 2015. During that time, I kind of took her lead, regarding her grieving the loss of my dad.  In the beginning, she talked about him a lot, and was kind of living in her own reality regarding the man he was.  It was obvious to me that they have always loved each other, through any storm that hit them or our family.  However, when she talked about him, refusing to aknowledge his weaknesses, or the way some of his words and actions affected my sisters and me, it touched a place inside of me that I could no longer ignore.  

Carefully, I would remind her that I grew up in our house, and I knew the truth.  As the years went by, she was more able to accept the goodness of my dad, and also the darkness that he harbored.  We were able to talk about it at times, and although we made that breakthrough, I focused mostly on my relationship with her, and kind of put the death of my father on the back burner.

That changed when my mom passed away, for then I was orphaned.  The foundation of our family, and the roots that connected us no longer existed.  No reasons left for me to gloss over the fact that my father is dead.  

He is gone. 

And I miss him very much!

How did my world change when my father passed on?  A few things come to mind…

No more “hi dads,” and “hi Buns” (he called me Bun) and seeing his face light up when he saw me and his grandsons.

No more seeing him at our door, carrying his paper, and anything else he decided to bring over…like coffee cake or donuts.

No more dad to call when my life was in turmoil…like when my marriage was young and stormy.  He would listen to my cries of anguish, then comfort and support me…while at the same time, never once uttering  a negative thing about Joe…my husband and his son in law.

No more dad to call when I was excited about something in our life, or when there were troubles or sadness.

No more father’s day cards or gifts to choose…or birthdays or holidays to celebrate together.

No more dinners together, and waiting for his reaction to the dishes I prepared.

No more arguments with him, and no more chances to view him from the eyes of one flawed adult to another…no more chances to pray for him, and for the healing of his hurting soul.

The world is still turning…hours, days, months, and years spin by.  And although it is a beautiful world, created and gifted to us to enjoy and treasure, I have finally come to the place where I feel the emptiness of being fatherless in this world.

It is a void that cannot be totally filled by memories.

However, my heart is miraculously filled with an intense love that includes the hearts of my mom and dad.  That love pierces through the pain and grief of losing our loved ones,  It is a love and warmth that could only come from the source of love itself...Our Heavenly Father.

May God bless you on Father’s Day, and each and every day that you are blessed to live and love, in this beautiful world!

 

Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.  Deuteronomy 5:16

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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My Second Mother’s Day Without my Mom

Today is my second Mother’s Day without my mom.

I never thought I would be the one to continue to grieve, to be overcome with emotion, and to miss my mother so very much.

Since my mother passed away, about a year and a half ago, I have felt her presence with me…a love that fills me and sometimes overwhelms me.  All of the moments that are precious and a treasure to me now, at the time were experienced as normal everyday moments.  Not realizing the memories that she was gifting me with…going through my days, as though each one was just another day, and not having the eyes yet to perceive true beauty.

My mother lived with Joe (my husband) and me for about eleven years.  Through those years, I was the one that would help her make purchases for gifts.  When it came to gifts for me, she would usually tell me what she would like to give me, and would ask me to choose and purchase.  Needless to say, I was never surprised!

Mom’s Final Gift to Me

When she was in rehab before she died, she was thoroughly enjoying herself.  One of the activities she loved was Bingo.  One day, I walked in to her room, and her face was all lit up.  She told me that she won Bingo, and was able to choose her prize.  She chose a beautiful flower arrangement so she could give it to me.  She was so excited and happy that she was able to surprise me with some beautiful flowers.  I was very touched at the time…but as time goes by, that one simple gesture touches my heart in the most deep way.

These are the moments that stay with us.  Snapshots of time that keep us grounded in love.  The miraculous scenes of life that play and replay through our minds and hearts of times gone by.

Moments spent with those we love.  As I sit here thinking and honoring my mother for all she was, and all she did for us as a family, many of those times come to mind.

Some of those moments that will always be with me:

Watching my mom through the window of the Senior Center when I arrived to pick her up.  Seeing her sitting at a round table with five of her friends, laughing so hard that she had to lay her head down on the table.  I had never seen her laugh like that.

Seeing her in her cute reading glasses, looking up from her book at me, when I came home from work and popped my head in her room to ask her how her day was.  She usually said, “I had a beautiful day.”  I will never be able to part with those glasses.

Watching her eyes light up when Joe or I served up one of her favorite meals.  Or favorite desserts.  Come to think of it, most everything was “her favorite!”

Getting beat royally by her when playing Canasta, Skip-Bo, or Sequence.  Sometimes it was downright mortifying how bad she beat me!

Losing my temper and yelling about our differing politics.  Feeling awful afterwards, I would apologize, and she would just say, “Sometimes things just need to come out.”  She would never hold those outbursts against me.

Strolling through Costco pushing my mom in her wheelchair with a cart in front of us…stacked so high with items she wanted to purchase, that we could not see where we were going!

Her excitement upon learning that she was going to be a great grandma.  That was one of the things that was holding  her back from passing on…she wanted to see her grandson’s baby that would be coming in five months.  I said, “Mom, you know that in heaven you will be able to see your grandson.”  She looked in my eyes and smiled.  She said, “I know, but I am not ready to leave this Earth yet.”  She didn’t make it to see Brayden’s birth, but I KNOW she is with him now.

The privilege of assisting her to shower, wash and style her hair, and put lotion on her.  In the beginning, she was embarrassed to have me help her in that way.  However, it became comfortable and natural for us.  And I enjoyed helping her to feel a little pampered.

Seeing the joy on her face when looking out her bedroom window and seeing three snowmen that the sweet neighbor girls built for her.

Sitting next to Mom at Mass and special worship times, feeling so close to her.

Seeing my mother, as she was near death, look me straight in the eye and tell me that I had the most beautiful blue eyes she’d ever seen.  Then proceeded to call me “Jan,” telling “Jan” that her daughter and son in law take good care of her, but she worries about their health.

A few days before she passed away, I climbed into bed with my mom, and put my arm around her,  I asked her if it was ok that I was there with her.  Her answer?  “We should do this more often.”  Yes, we should have….

Once I asked her if there was anything she would have done differently, being that she had a hard life.  She told me she wouldn’t change a thing.  She said that her family is her blessing, and when things get difficult, you just need to “offer it up to the Lord.”

I have learned to do just that, Mom.  I have finally learned to offer my life to the Lord.  And a large part of myself is the part that came from you.  Thank you for loving me.  Thank you for being you.  Thank you for loving the Lord.

 

 

 

 


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Listening for His Voice

IMG_2728Being that it’s a gorgeous sunny day today…in the eighties, I decided to take a walk during my lunch hour.

As I stepped outside and breathed in that amazingly warm and comforting air, I asked God to speak to me.  You see, usually I pray (talk!) the whole time I am walking, so I asked the Lord to do the talking today.

And I was listening for His voice.

For a few moments I was hearing the common drone of cars humming down the main road, and those sounds gave way to the gentle whirring of the breeze around me.  All of a sudden, there was the sound of a bird squawking.  The sound was getting nearer and nearer to me, and I looked down.  The bird was running in circles right in front of me and making all sorts of crazy sounds.  Then I saw it.  Her baby was off to the left of me, running toward the grass.  I realized that the mommy bird was protecting her baby!

Seeing the natural instinct of a mother protecting her little one really warmed my heart.  I thanked God for showing me such beauty, turned the corner and stepped up to the sidewalk.  Then I saw something I wish I hadn’t.  I saw two little furry baby birds, all soft and downy, lying dead on the ground.  I asked the Lord why He allowed me to see that?  Why did I need to see those sweet little birds that looked as though they just died?  And why did they have to die in the first place?

He answered, “there is beauty to be found through both life and death.”  After a few more steps, once again I looked down, and I saw it.  A bookmark had flown over and landed on the side of the path I was walking on.

I saw the words…Jesus is Alive! And I understood that because of Jesus, death holds no power over us.  In Christ Jesus, we are saved.  He is waiting for us to invite Him into our hearts and our lives, and accept the precious gifts He offers us.  Love, mercy, and salvation.  These are not merely words to bring us comfort.  Jesus is truly alive…He is right here with us now!

Lord, there are so many times I don’t understand your ways.  I don’t understand why some people suffer more than others, why some seem to attract the good things of the world, while others struggle just to survive.  Help me to understand that you are present in all of our lives, and in all circumstances.  Help me to trust that your grace is sufficient in all things, and that suffering, even death itself, can bring us closer to you.  All we need to do is open our hearts to you, and ask that you fill us with your saving holy presence.