A Step Forward in Faith

Are you struggling right now?  Do you KNOW something is missing in your life…or maybe experiencing pain, despair, confusion, or doubt that there is a God that loves you?

There is a way to move closer and closer to Jesus.  There is a way to find inner peace even as you tread through the storms of your day to day life. There is a way to truly have faith in God, and know that He is there for you. Always.

KNOWING Jesus will fill you with such a deep love and faith… life will change for you!

This video is the testimony of young men who have experienced miraculous change in their lives after making the decision to pray the rosary.  Listen to their stories, listen to how their hearts (and lives) were changed.  Our Blessed Mother loves us so much, that she desires to bring us closer to her son.  She loves YOU that much…trust her to love you through your struggles, as any loving mother would, and trust her to lead you to the saving grace of Jesus.

Praying/meditating on the mysteries of the rosary is changing my heart and my life…in unbelievable ways.  Are you ready to take a step forward in faith?  May God be with you on your faith journey.

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Interior Growth during Lent

About a week or two ago, my husband and I were sitting on our couch watching a movie.  Someone was knocking at our front door, and being nighttime, I felt a little leery of opening the door to a stranger.

My husband doesn’t share my concerns or fears, so he swung the door open.  There stood a young woman, along with a friend, smiling at us.  She introduced herself and her friend, and proceeded to tell us that she happened to be walking by, and saw the Blessed Mother flags that we have in our front yard.  She said that something told her to knock on the door, and so she did.

Even just that was amazing to me…that someone, especially someone young, would actually walk up to a stranger’s home, because they felt the “call” to do it.  I have felt that call before, so I felt an instant connection with her.

We talked a little, and learned that we both have a devotion to Our Lady, and she shared that she attends Traditional Latin Mass at an area Church on Sundays, and she invited me.   Now, here is the clincher… I have been praying regarding whether or not to attend a Latin Mass.  There are different opinions on the Novus Ordo (New Order)  Mass vs Traditional Latin Mass, and I was praying for direction from Mother Mary and my guardian angel. You see, I remember the reverence and beauty of the Latin Mass as a child, before Vatican II, and have always missed that beauty. The altar rail, kneeling to receive the Body of Christ on the tongue,  the Priest facing the tabernacle, beautiful bells ringing during the Eucharistic Prayer, and beautiful hymns.  I always missed those lovely aspects of the Latin Mass, but since the changes to the Mass happened when I was a child, I just accepted those changes without question.

Since that night, my new friend and I have spoken a few times, and found that we have much in common.  She volunteers and is very active within the Church, and she reminded me of the 40 days For Life Ministry that is happening now.  It took a few gentle “proddings” before I finally made the committment to sign up to pray for the end of abortion.  I decided to pray at Planned Parenthood on Fridays.

What a lesson in humility it is to actually stand in front of a place (Planned Parenthood) that makes a business out of killing babies in their mother’s wombs. It is so sad to me.  At the same time, being there, and praying the rosary for the mothers and fathers that are considering to end their babies’ lives, is a privilege.  My rosaries and all prayers are also for the opening of the eyes, hearts and conversion of souls, of any person that is associated with this horrific baby killing.  Only Our Lord, Our Lady, and St. Michael, have the power to win this spiritual battle, and I am more than willing to pray to the heavens to step in and stop this holocaust.

I made the decision to pray the complete 20 decade rosary during my 40 Days for Life prayer time.  I have never prayed all the decades at once…have always just prayed the mysteries devoted to the particular day of the week.  This complete rosary is indescribably beautiful, and I plan to continue praying it at least once per week.

So, one more little tidbit to add to my story.  The Latin Mass that my friend told me about is only on Sundays at 3:30pm.  I work on Sundays/Mondays so that was out of the question, because I did not think it would be possible to change my two days.  Well…after she reminded me that we should not be working on Sundays anyway, being that it is the Lord’s Day, I decided to request my days to be changed so I would have off on Sundays.  I prayed to the Blessed Mother that if I was meant to have Sundays off and attend the Latin Mass, that she would make that possible.

I just heard from work a few hours ago that my request is approved, and I am over the moon happy that I will no longer be working on Sundays…the Lord’s Day:-) Thank you, dear Jesus and Mother Mary, for leading my new friend to my front door, and for the miracles you send me each and every day.

When I was looking for an All Mystery Rosary, I found one that is beautiful.  It is prayed by a husband/wife, with beautiful voices, and soft reverent music in the background. I will share with you below. (only one thing that I found distracting…after the last prayer of the rosary..Hail Holy Queen…the husband/wife talk a little about their site. I turn off the video after the last prayer, and then say the Prayer to St. Michael.

May God bless you on your personal journey to Jesus and heaven.  May your Lenten time bring you the interior growth that you are in need of.

 

This Very Moment in Time

 

Each one of us was designed and created by God specifically to be in this world, this country, this state, this community, this family, at this very moment in time.

There is much havoc being wreaked all around us.  Many are terrorized by the thought of themselves or loved ones being infected with Covid 19, while others wrestle with the loss of freedoms regarding lockdown orders, business, school and Church closings, and mandatory masks.  As Americans, we are in the process of election fraud investigations and recounts, and many are anxiety ridden regarding the outcome of the election…which makes complete sense, being that the two candidates stand for agendas going in two completely different directions.

Whichever the outcome, there will most likely continue to be distrust and unrest.

When you look around, it’s hard not to see the lack of respect, integrity and civility that has taken to the airwaves and streets.  Walking through our communities, peering at each other over our Covid masks, it’s as though we don’t even see each other as people anymore…but more as walking germ spreaders.  Eyes are averted, so it is hard to connect with each other.

We are on high alert regarding the political leanings of those around us…many are extra sensitive and triggered by any spoken word that may be different from their belief system.

With all that is happening in our daily world, I believe that it is the time to take a step back.  Use this time to really listen to the ones around you on a daily basis. STOP listening to the news, social media and news sites…put those things on PAUSE.

Listen to your family, friends and loved ones.  Really hear what they are saying…reassure them that you love them and are there for them.  Find ways to connect.

Stop focussing on the overwhelming issues that are blazing now…trust that God is weaving the perfect outcome, through each one of us. (whether we are aware or not)

We each have a purpose.  Ask Our Lord to reveal that purpose to you…however, you are already IN that purpose.  There are those in your life that God entrusted to YOU.

Love those people.  Protect those people.  Guide those people.  See Jesus in them, and allow them to see Jesus in you.  

We are all in this together…that fact is clearly evident at this time in history.  As Catholics, as Christians, our purpose is to edify each other, pray for each other, and help each other on our journeys to heaven.

Take time to learn your faith, and develop your relationship with Jesus.  Live in Jesus, and invite Him to live within you.

The temptation is to give in to fear, remain isolated, or to lash out.  Ask Jesus to show you a different way…ask him to touch those around you with his love.  Ask him to work through you, even when you are at a loss of knowing what to do.

Remember, you are here at this very moment in time.  You are valuable, and you never know when someone’s life trajectory will be changed because you cared enough to reach out.  You being here RIGHT NOW is no accident.  

God created you for this moment!

Each and every circumstance of life right now is in his will.  It is either his will, or he has allowed a circumstance for a purpose we do not understand.  Trust in Him.  Do not trust feelings.  Trust in Him.  Do not trust manmade solutions. Trust in Him.  Do not trust political parties. Trust in Him. Do not trust everything that is being fed to you through news and social media. Trust in Him.

Learn to discern through His Catholic Church on Earth…through Scripture.

Stay close to Jesus.  Read His Holy Word…The Bible.  Attend Mass. Receive the sacraments of Reconciliation and Holy Communion. Pray the Rosary. Pray for each other, The Church, America, and the world. Pray for eyes and hearts to be opened, and for conversions to Jesus.  Learn your faith.

Most important of all, love God and love each other.  For that is why we are here at this very moment.

 

 

 

 

Learn to be a Warrior

 

 

 

A few months ago I had a troubling dream.  It was the kind of dream where upon waking, it took me a good while to pull myself out of it and back into reality.

In this dream, I was near a type of small enclosure with translucent walls with a bench positioned in front of it.  A beautiful young mother was sitting on the bench, with her two small children in tow.

Seemingly, out of nowhere, an amazingly beautiful white tiger started walking toward us.  It was instantly apparent to me that the tiger was a ferocious animal, and I started to slowly back away.

I watched as the woman moved forward with her hand reaching toward it, focusing on the beauty of the animal rather than the reality of its true nature.  As she and her children inched forward, I yelled for them to back away, however, they would not listen.

In one instant, the tiger pounced, and the family ran into the enclosure for cover.  Before they could close the door behind them, the great beast followed them in.  My ears were filled with the pitiful sounds of screaming from the mother and her children, and I could see splatters of blood through the walls.

I didn’t know what to do to help, so I started walking toward them, with the intention of opening the door to allow for a possible way to escape. As I neared the building, a man appeared beside me and gently took hold of my arm.  He very calmly guided me away from the atrocity that was happening.  He said to me in a slow, deliberate tone…”there is nothing you can do for them now.”

We are living in a time where evil has infiltrated every facet of our world.  It is the perfect storm of events, leading us to a place of division and desperation.  Because of the fear of Covid 19, not only our relationships are affected due to “social distancing” and lockdowns, many of us are experiencing financial difficulties, or stressful work situations at home with small children.  Many are suffering with the virus itself, many have lost loved ones, and many are living with a high degree of fear. Anxiety levels are skyrocketing, which are leading to health issues, which show up as mental or physical ailments.

There are constant protests, demonstrations, marches, and riots.  Labels are being spewed at each other…racist, homophobe, white privilege, xenophobe, fascist, marxist, communist.  You need to be aware of your surroundings every minute…you never know when you will be accosted and screamed at while out in your community.  Many diners enjoying some much needed time away for a meal with a friend or family member, have been shouted down and terrified by hate spewing mobs.

While protests and riots are occurring, or when large groups celebrate in the streets for their candidate that has been elected by the news media, there are no mentions regarding social distancing.  We are free to shop in grocery stores, retail stores, liquor stores, and pot dispensaries, while Churches remain closed.  I remember walking past an open Victoria Secret store, which of course is “essential,” as opposed to our Catholic Churches, which were deemed nonessential I suppose.

Our churches have been “allowed” to open, however only 100 worshippers are permitted into the Church for Mass. We must wear our masks, and squirt on the antibacterial hand cleaners before we are permitted to enter.  Did I mention that we are not allowed to sing?  But wait a minute, how about all the screaming and chanting happening out in the streets?  Does that make sense to you?

Now we are in the midst of a chaotic recount of ballots in many states. There have been many credible accusations of voter fraud.  Mr. Biden has usurped his role as the president elect, however the votes have not yet been certified.

We are waiting with baited breath for the outcome of this election.  Either way it goes, it won’t be a pretty sight.

Our Catholic Church has been infiltrated and is under attack.  Our current Pope seemed to condone same sex marriage/homosexual civil unions,  and actually allowed a fertility goddess “Pachamama” to be displayed and revered in the Vatican Gardens.  There has been pedophelia and homosexual abuses in the Church…which was ignored and swept under the carpet, allowing the perpetrators to rise in ranks or be transferred to other parishes.  The absolute horrors of abortion…a mother making the decision to be an accessory to killing her own baby is rarely mentioned in the pulpit.  Homosexual marriage or lifestyle is never mentioned.  The horrors of hell are rarely mentioned.  Why???

Many of us are experiencing desperation, confusion, and loss of faith during these trying times.  That is because we are reaching out to the figurative “white tiger,” due to the beauty or majesty we want or choose to see. How do we know exactly what we are reaching out to?  How do we discern?

In order to see clearly, and to know what is aligned with God, we need to know God. We need to love God. And we need to serve God.

As Catholics, we need to arm ourselves for the spiritual warfare which is in full force right now.  You and I are here on earth at this particular time for a reason.  Let’s learn about our faith, learn about Jesus and his teachings. Learn about the early Church, the saints who went before us.  Learn about our guardian angels, and the power of St. Michael the Archangel.  Learn about the power of Our Blessed Mother, and how she is most hated by Satan himself.

If Mother Mary was a “mere” woman as some believe, why do the demons and Satan fear her?

Do you want to continue going through life seeing the lie of the white tiger’s beauty, or do you want the grace to discern the grotesque, horrendous, evil beast for what he truly is?  For I can promise you, if you choose to stay in the dark of deception and ignorance, sooner or later, when you least expect it, that beast will pounce on you.

And when that time comes, it will be too late… there will be nothing anyone can do to save you from yourself.

The time to decide and take that step toward the Truth…which is Jesus… is NOW.

 

Here are a few ways to arm yourself for battle:

Read Scripture

Daily Rosary

Deliverance Prayers For Use by the Laity

Mass (Sunday and Daily Mass if possible)

Confession

Holy Eucharist

Use of Sacramentals

Development of Virtues

 

May God bless and have mercy on our Country.

 

 

 

 

 

The Luminous Mysteries

This is the fourth in the series of “How Praying the Rosary Changed my Life.” Please click here for the background of how I was led to The Rosary, and also to learn about The Joyful, Sorrowful, and and Glorious  Mysteries.

Today I will cover the Luminous Mysteries, which are prayed on Thursday.

My prayer is that The Holy Spirit will open your heart to these great mysteries, and fill you with the love, joy, and peace of Our Lord, Jesus.

There are five meditations associated with the Luminous Mysteries. I will cover each one.

1. The Baptism of Jesus  Matthew 3:13-17  (For the Desire to Live my Baptismal Promises)  Dear Lord, you did not need to be baptized…for you are God.  Thank you for submitting to your Father, and allowing John to baptize you.  How unworthy he must have felt.  However, you accepted his baptizing you, in total love and humility.  We hear our Father’s words, “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”  Help me Lord, to follow in your foot steps.  Even though I am unworthy due to my sin, help me to always look to you to help me to live my baptismal promises.  To live my faith each and every day.
2. The Wedding at Cana  John 2:1-11  (For the Desire to do Whatever Jesus Says)  Lord, thank you for performing your  first public miracle at the wedding in Cana.  The first thing I think of, is that you and your Mother were celebrating a holy marriage!  Imagine the wonder and joy of having God Himself in attendance of their wedding feast! Help me to understand that it was your Mother that informed you that there was no wine.  She interceded for the need of the wedding hosts, and when you answered that your time had not come…she proceeded to tell the servants to “Do whatever he tells you.”  It is the same when I bring my needs, prayers, and sufferings to Mary.  She intercedes on my behalf to you…guiding me to “Do whatever he says.”
3. The Proclamation of the Kingdom of God  Mark 1:14-15  Matthew 5:3-12 (For the Desire of God’s Forgiveness)  Dear Lord, help me to know that your kingdom is as close as my own heart.  Help me to open my heart to you, always desiring that you fill me with your love and mercy.  Help me to stay strong in this world that we are living in…allowing my eyes to be open to your truth and to be very aware of the existence of sin.  Please help me to seek your forgiveness and mercy for my own sins, and also that I may look at others who are living in darkness, with that same love and mercy.
4. The Transfiguration  Matthew 17:1-8  (For the Desire to be a New Person in Christ)  Dear Lord, thank you for  revealing  your glory through your transfiguration…allowing us humans to experience the glory and radiance of your Godhead.  Help me to always look to you to transform me into a completely new person in you.  Thank you for infusing my heart with your love, and shining your love through me.
5. The Institution of the Eucharist  Luke 22:7-20  John 6:50-53 (For the Desire for Active Participation at Mass)  Lord Jesus, we are so blessed in the privilege and honor of celebrating Mass and receiving the Holy Eucharist…your body and blood. Please help me to always remember, that each and every Mass is a miracle, for you are truly there among us.  Help me to realize that it is your precious body and blood that I receive…making us one.  You are in me and I in you. We are joined together.  Thank you for inviting  me to your table,  The Lamb’s Supper.  

 

Pray the Rosary  A Saint Joseph Edition  A wonderful little Pamphlet

For information on how to pray the rosary…Click here

May your day be blessed in the love and light of Jesus, Our Lord. May your heart be touched through these Luminous Mysteries.

Remember, that these meditations come from my own heart.  When you pray the rosary, the Holy Spirit will reveal the truth of the mysteries directly to you.  Please feel free to comment with any questions or thoughts.

The Glorious Mysteries

This is the third in the series of “How Praying the Rosary Changed my Life.” Please click here for the background of how I was led to The Rosary, and also to learn about The Joyful and Sorrowful Mysteries.

Today I will cover the Glorious Mysteries, which are prayed on Wednesday and Sunday.

My prayer is that The Holy Spirit will open your heart to these great mysteries, and fill you with the love, joy, and peace of Our Lord, Jesus.

There are five meditations associated with the Glorious Mysteries. I will cover each one.

1.  The Resurrection  Mt 28:1-7  (For the desire of a Strong Faith)  Dear Lord, through your glorious triumph over death, help me to constantly desire a stronger faith.  Too many times I focus on the darkness and evil in this world, thus allowing myself to be entangled and attached to it.  Help me to focus on the beauty of your love, and your triumph over death, allowing me the opportunity  to bask in the truth of your saving grace.  You are my savior.  Help me to overcome fear and find solace in you, through you, and with you.
2. The Ascension   Luke 24:50-53  Acts 1:10-11  Mk 16:19-20  (For the desire of the Virtue of Hope)  Lord Jesus, thank you for allowing your disciples to witness your glorious ascension into heaven… taking your  place at the right hand of God.  Through the eyes of faith, allow me to fully hope and trust that you are preparing a place for me, so that I can be with you forever.
3. The Descent of the Holy Spirit   John 14:26  Acts 1:5-8  Acts 2:1-6 Acts 2:38-41  (For the desire of Zeal for the Glory of God)  Dear Lord, so many times I try to find happiness through the ways of the world, and through my own limited perceptions.  Please help me to realize that my real, true happiness can only come from you… for your love, power, and glory are endless.  Fill me with a strong desire for you, that my life and the desires of my heart may glorify you.  Thank you for the gift of your Holy Spirit…and help me to stay open to only you; that my heart be filled with your loving and merciful presence.
4. The Assumption of Mary  Rev 12:1  Judith 15:9-10  The Assumption  (For the Desire of Grace for a Holy Death) Dear Jesus, thank you for the gift of your Blessed Mother. Through Mary, help me to be drawn closer to you, because her heart is forever joined with yours.  Through her humility, great love, gentleness, and sinless example to me, help me to trust in your grace for a holy life and a holy death.
5. The Coronation of the Blessed Virgin Mary   Luke 1:46-49    Coronation of Mary  (For the desire for a Greater Love for the Blessed Virgin Mary)   Dear Lord, thank you for bringing me closer to your Blessed Mother…my mother.  Since I have been powerfully drawn to her through the Rosary, my faith and my life have been completely transformed.  She loves me, and loves all of us, with the intense love of a mother for her children.  And her love is one with yours…so I am being drawn closer and closer to you. Thank you. 

Pray the Rosary  A Saint Joseph Edition  A wonderful Little Pamphlet

For information on how to pray the rosary…click here.

 

May your day be blessed in the love and light of Jesus, Our Lord. May your heart be touched through these Glorious Mysteries.
Please feel free to comment with any questions or thoughts.

The Sorrowful Mysteries

This is the second in the series of  “How Praying the Rosary Changed my Life.”  Please click here for the background of how I was led to The Rosary, and also to learn about The Rosary and The Joyful Mysteries.

Today I will cover the Sorrowful Mysteries, which are prayed on Tuesday and Friday.

My prayer is that The Holy Spirit will open your heart to these great mysteries, and fill you with the love, joy, and peace of Our Lord, Jesus.

There are five meditations associated with the Sorrowful Mysteries. I will cover each one.

1. Agony in the Garden   Mark 14:32-46  Luke 22:41-44  (For true repentance of my sins)   Dear Lord, how can I even begin to understand the agony that you endured, as you prayed to your Father in the garden?  You knew exactly what was going to happen to you…that you were offering yourself as a perfect sacrifice in atonement for the sins that I have committed, am committing, and will commit in the future.  You took my place.  You also knew that you would be betrayed by some of those who were closest to you, and knew  you would be hated, spat upon, tortured, blasphemed, humiliated, and ultimately crucified by those who did not understand The Truth.  I am so much like your disciples, who could not even stay awake for one hour to keep watch.  Judas betrayed you with a kiss.  How many times do I declare my love for you, and then close my heart to your love, and to your presence in my life?  How many times do I “fall asleep” when there is work to be done and people to love?  How many times do I betray you by allowing my weakness and selfishness to come between us?  Help me to understand that even you prayed that your Father would take the cup away…and the angels actually came to strengthen you in your suffering.  Help me to remember that you are always with me…I am never alone.  Help me to always come to you in prayer, with praise, thanksgiving and petitions, and always  submitting myself to the Father’s will…not my own.
2. Scourging at the Pillar   Mark 15:1-15  (For a Spirit of Mortification)  Lord, help me to face the hardships and suffering in my life as you did.  You accepted your scourging with love and humility.  You did not even utter one harsh word toward your tormenters.  Please help me to understand and always remember…You suffered in my place, Lord. Thank you for the perfect love that you offered me through your sacrifice, and the love that you are still offering to me now. Help me to find you through the difficulties, pain and suffering that I experience day to day.  Help me to accept them with joy…knowing that through the suffering I am closer to you.
3. Crowning With Thorns  Mark 15:16-19  (For Moral Courage)   Lord it wasn’t enough that you were scourged; you were also mocked and blasphemed.  Through it all, love and humility radiated from you.  Help me to always be ready to stand for what is right in God’s eyes. When I am mocked or persecuted because of my love of you, I ask that you shower me with your mercy and grace so I can respond with love and humility.
4. Carrying of the Cross  Mt 27:31-32  (For the Virtue of Patience)  Lord, the first thing that pops into my heard after reading this verse…is that Simon was forced to carry the cross.  Am I so different from him?  When I am sent crosses to bear, I am always looking for ways to alleviate my struggle, pain, and difficulty.  It seems that I am sometimes forced to carry my crosses…and in the process I become closer to you, and my cross becomes a blessing.  Help me to not only carry my own burdens willingly and lovingly, but also open my eyes to ways I can carry some of the burdens of those around me…lightening the pain and suffering of others so it is bearable for them.  Help me to be a blessing to all those in need, that you place on my path.
5. The Crucifixion  Luke 23:34  Luke 23:45-46  (For the Grace of Final Perseverance)  My dear Lord, You suffered and died in my place.  Thank you for the love and mercy that stream from you.  Thank you for loving me.  When I am hurt or when evil surrounds me, help me to always ask God to forgive them, for they know not what they do.  And please fill me with your grace, that I may say, in total faith, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.”

May your day be blessed in the love and light of Jesus, Our Lord. May your heart be touched through these Sorrowful Mysteries.
Please feel free to comment with any questions or thoughts.

Pray the Rosary A Saint Joseph Edition  A wonderful little pamphlet.

 

How Praying The Rosary Changed My Life

My relationship with Jesus became  much more intimate, and my faith life, and life in general, was changed because of my relationship with His Mother. You can read a little of how that change was inspired here.

Praying and meditating on the Rosary transformed my life, and could transform yours, too.

Many people ask me about the Rosary, and do not understand why someone would pray to Mary, and not just directly to Jesus.  Although I am a cradle Catholic, I had the same questions for many years.

Until I was personally led by the Holy Spirit to meditate and pray the Rosary.

By opening my heart to Our Lord’s Blessed Mother, I was enveloped in her motherly love for me, and in and through that  love, was drawn closer and closer to her Son.  Once I realized in my soul that Mary is actually the Mother of God, the mother of Jesus, my heart was then opened to the knowledge that she is also my mother.  (think about it…if you believe that Jesus is the Son of God the Father and Mary, and God is also your Father (thus Jesus is your brother) …then it is logical to know that Mary is your Mother.  As our Mother, wouldn’t it be true that she would want what is best for us?  That she would want to guide us toward Jesus…our Savior?  That she would intercede for us to her Son, as she did at the wedding in Cana?

While praying the Rosary, there are four sets of Mysteries that are reflected on.  With prayerful meditation, these mysteries are life changing.  For information and instruction on how to pray the rosary click here.

In the chance that my meditations may be a blessing to you, I thought I would share some of my personal reflections associated with each one.  I certainly do not wish to insinuate that these thoughts are doctrines or formal teachings of the Catholic Church.  These thoughts are personal revelations or enlightenments to me, through the Holy Spirit.

The Lord will reveal Himself to you, personally, as you pray the Holy Rosary.

There are four sets of mysteries that are used for meditation on certain days of the week.  The Joyful Mysteries are said on Monday and Saturday.  Today is Monday, so I will start there.

There are five meditations associated with the Joyful Mysteries. I will cover each one.

1.  The Annunciation  Luke 1:26-38   (For the love of humility)  Dear Lord, please help me to live my life with perfect trust in You, just as Mary did.  Help me to be your vessel…to have the openness to God’s will and the humility of Mary.  Help me to trust in you completely, even when not understanding the situation or where it may take me.   Allow me to say and have faith in Mary’s  words, “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.”
2.   The Visitation  Luke 1:39-56  (For charity toward my neighbor)  Dear Lord, please help me to be a vessel, allowing your light and love to flow from me to the ones you place in my life.  Guide me to be understanding of the needs of my loved ones, and also any person that you place on my path.  You are perfect love.  I can never be enough myself to love your children the way that you do.  I can never fill the holes in their hearts or heal all that troubles them.  I ask that you fill my heart with You, and pour your love through me, even when I am unaware of the miracle taking place.  Help me to learn to love as you love, to see as you see, to hear as you hear.  Help me to have the spirit and faith of Mary, “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful
   of the humble state of his servant.”
3. The Nativity  Luke 2:8-14  (For love of God)  Dear Lord, please help me to remember that You were born  into our world in poverty…placed in a manger, lovingly and with full trust in your providence, by Joseph and Mary.  Help me to understand the importance of family, and that the strength of the family is dependent on the foundation of God and His Truth, Love, and Mercy.  Help me to be open to your Love, so that I can be a reflection of You, to my family and friends.  And as I fall short, please work through me.
4. The Presentation of Jesus in the Temple  Luke 2:22-35  Luke 2:39-40   (For a Spirit of Sacrifice)  Dear Lord, help me to always offer my life, my marriage, and my family to you, that you will use our lives to further your kingdom.  When I was a young mother, I did not understand the beauty of sacrifice, and I selfishly wanted to keep  my children for my own, only seeking their happiness in this world, and holding back from presenting them and myself to you…for your purpose.  I ask that you fill in for my ignorance and selfishness, and ask that you infuse us all with your presence, while guiding us in your light, and in your purpose.  Help us to use the difficulties in this life to bring us closer to you, and help me to remember to present myself to you each and every day, for you to work through.
5. The Finding of Jesus in the Temple  Luke 2:41-52  (For zeal for the Glory of God)  Dear Lord, help me to always desire to be in your presence.  You knew that you belonged in your Father’s house.  Help me to have trust and faith that I too belong in my Father’s house.  Help me to always invite you into my heart, to fill me with your love, mercy, wisdom, joy, and understanding, to help me and my life glorify the Father.

May your day be blessed in the love and light of Jesus, Our Lord.  May your heart be touched through these Joyful Mysteries.

Please feel free to comment with any questions.

Pray the Rosary  A Saint Joseph Edition  A wonderful little pamphlet.

Beauty and Love are Always to be Found

Since my mother’s death in September, it has been hard for me to focus on the feelings and truths that are waiting for me to acknowledge.

It’s  not that I am consciously afraid of the feelings that will bubble up, but more that I know the immense tidal wave of feelings and memories that will engulf me, and I just need “me time” to sort it all out, and actually have the time to feel, face and process all that the Holy Spirit reveals to me. 

My heartfelt thanks and gratitude go out to all of you that have prayed for my mom, me, and my family, and also for your love and support.  An extra thank you to Tina, who reached out to me in her special way, to empathize and encourage me to write.  She knows that writing helps me to sort things out, and hopefully my search and struggle will help others who may be experiencing similar things.

Right now I am feeling overwhelmed, with the magnitude of what is occurring in our country and the world, and also with the tapestry of my own  life.  Although none of us will ever know the full beauty of our life tapestries until the Lord reveals them to us in His Glory in heaven, I feel as though some of the golden threads will be made visible to my eyes, through the Holy Spirit.  Somehow, the Lord will open my eyes and heart to understand the reasons for events in my life, and also the lessons that I was meant to learn through each struggle.  How everything was interconnected, and how the Lord always leads us to beauty, even through things we consider to be evil and ugly.

Beauty and Love are always to be found, especially when things are the darkest…especially in the midst of pain, struggle, and any evil that Satan wreaks on our lives.

So I ask for your patience, as I trudge forward, one step at a time.  I ask the Lord to use me as a vessel, to touch hearts that need to be touched with love and comfort.

This past Saturday, I went grocery shopping.  As I listened to Christmas music while strolling the aisles with my cart, my eyes caught the rice pudding.  The delicious, all natural rice pudding that I always bought for my mom.  All of a sudden, I was overcome with emotion.  It was an all consuming sadness, happiness, and love, all at once.  I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit, and  just stood there, looking at the pudding, unable to move.  I allowed myself to feel all of it fully, and then just moved on.

After that, little snippets of memories kept popping up.

The awesome birthday parties mom gave us.  Mine was a fall birthday, so the decorations were always fall themed…lots of orange and black crepe paper and pumpkins.  Orange, yellow, and brown flowers on my cake, and honeycombed bright orange  pumpkin centerpieces.  I absolutely LOVE fall, and those birthday parties are probably one of the reasons I love it so much!

The delicious soft boiled eggs she made for me mixed with pieces of white bread.  When I was feeling a little sick, the eggs were so comforting to me.

Playing cards and board games with mom…she was the master of Canasta!

The way she always had something to serve to visitors.  Even if it was store bought cookies and coffee, or sharing our dinner, there was always something to offer to guests.

The grocery store.  When Mom first moved in with us, she would go grocery shopping with me, using her cane.  She would just want to buy everything, mostly sweets, so we got two carts and we both filled them.  Then she started using her walker, which then led to a wheelchair.  Although it was stressful when she shopped with me, it was sad when she no longer asked to go.

As soon as I walked into the house after shopping, she would always ask, “What goodies did you get?”  Meaning, cheesies, donuts, ice cream, cookies, pudding, etc.  I tried to limit them a little, but she  ended up getting most of what she wanted.

“The rosary is on at three thirty; would you like to pray it with me?”  When I finally accepted Mom’s invitation to pray with her, our relationship changed.  I remember one occasion vividly.  While we were praying, I looked over at her face.  There is no other way to describe what I saw…her face was illuminated and transformed.  I could literally see the Holy Spirit shining from her.

The many times she told me to just relax.  There was always so much to get done after work and on weekends to stay caught up as well as I could.  She was always telling me to let things go and just relax.  Maybe I should have listened???

On one of the days right before she passed away, my sister asked how she felt.  Mom said, “I’m good, but not as good as I will be in February.”  When my sister asked her what happens in February, she said, “I am going to have a great grandson!”

At one point, I said, “Mom, you know you will see your great grandson once you are in heaven.”  She looked at me with a glint in her eye, and said “I know, but I am not ready to leave this world yet.”

One night when she was having a hard time sleeping due to her breathing issues, I climbed in bed with her, and held her hand.  I asked her if it was ok that I was in bed next to her.  Her answer?  “We should do this more often.”

The look of wonder in her eyes the day before she died, when she looked straight into my eyes and said, “You have the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen!”  And then she called me “Jan” and proceeded to tell me about her daughter, Bernadette, and her husband that take care of her.  She said they did such a good job, but she worries that they do too much and worries about their health.

That moment when our eyes connected, when she was so weak and had gone through another breathing episode.  She asked me if I gave her “the pill” yet.  I “knew” that she meant that she was ready to pass on…she was ready to leave.  I am not sure why she thought there was one “pill” that would allow her to die, but I do know that she trusted me and she was telling me that her time on earth was ending.

Where does this all lead to?

Beauty and Love are always to be found, especially when things are the darkest…especially in the midst of pain and struggle.  And too many times, we do not understand the truth of that, until our world is shaken.  Until that person is taken away from us.  Until a stressful or difficult situation is behind us. 

I take great comfort in this truth:

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28

 

 

 

In Memory of My Mother, Mary

Visit with Gram at Rehab

There is no easy way to say this…my mother passed away on Thursday, September 17, 2015. So many emotions have been ebbing in and out of my being, however, right at this moment, I am feeling kind of locked up…like I have not been able yet to comprehend all that transpired.

The only way I know to sort things out and remember, is to write.

So here I am, with a heart full of pain, wonder, gratefulness, sadness, joy, and a love that is permeating through my heart as I never felt before. For I know that the Lord, and His Mother, have been with us each moment.

Being 88, my mother had been getting weaker and shorter of breath throughout the years. She was at a point where she was more than happy to just read, watch tv, or do her word search puzzles while in bed. She slowly started to choose eating in her room versus eating with my husband and me in the kitchen. Her appetite started to decrease (she was always a “foodie”!!!) and she only wanted very small portions of meat. Her short trips to the bathroom were more labored.

Then the breathing episodes started. After, and sometimes during, any physical activity, she would become extremely short of breath, and then start gasping for air. It was terrifying for her to experience, and horrifying for me to watch.

Joe (hubby) and I celebrated Mom’s 88^th birthday on Saturday, August 8, with her. She enjoyed her favorite coconut cake, and we gifted her with the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy rosary that she requested.  A few weeks before, Joe and I drove her to Ohio to visit with my two sisters…I knew in my heart that it was the last trip she would ever take.

A short time after that trip, on July 31, I had emailed the following thoughts to myself, so I would not forget:

“Today I feel a total emptiness and sadness that is running deep in my being. I feel a deep sadness like I have never felt before.

I was talking to God this morning, and asked why has my mother’s life been so sad? She was such a beautiful young girl, and since that time she endured so much pain and struggle. Why??? Why couldn’t she just enjoy her life, family and friends, in a carefree way like so many do?

As I was asking Him these questions, He immediately answered me. He said, “Through all of the pain and struggles that she experienced, it brought her closer to me, and she will be with me soon.”

That is why I knew she didn’t have too much time left with us on earth. But I had no idea of what would happen in the next two months.

Mom ended up being admitted to the hospital the day after her birthday. Her stay there was almost a week, and then she was admitted to the rehab center for a little over three weeks.

With oxygen, nebulizers, and meds she had never taken before, she seemed to get much better. She actually had a good time in rehab…loved the food, received at least 50 cards and some beautiful flower arrangements, had many visitors, did well in rehab activities, played bingo, got her hair done in the salon…and smiled big when we came to visit each day.

One day my husband noticed that she was “down” a little…barely noticeable, but not quite as “up” as before.

We took mom home on Friday, September 4, and she was admitted to Hospice (in our home) the next Friday. So, in essence, she passed away two weeks after coming home from rehab.

There are many stories to share with you during my mom’s hospice time, and there will be many blog posts, I’m sure.

I will leave you with this: my mother had a special devotion to the rosary meditation. One of the promises of the rosary is a holy death.

At my mother’s moment of death, she just peacefully stopped breathing, and I felt nothing but happiness for her soul, because I knew she was with Jesus.

But that doesn’t take away the pain of missing her.  I know it will be a journey, and that the Lord will walk that journey with us all…leading us closer to Him.