Sharing God's love with the world, one heart at a time.

Becoming Real


“Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’

‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.  

‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’

‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’

‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
― Margery Williams BiancoThe Velveteen Rabbit

Wow, after all these years of reading this excerpt from “The Velveteen Rabbit,” my heart still fills up and overflows through my eyes.

This beautiful story was one of my favorites since I was a little girl.  My sister, Patti, used to read it to me over and over again.  Sometimes I have to wonder how much I understood…which words reached out and grabbed my child self…how much did I truly understand?

Sometimes we don’t need to understand.  Sometimes love touches us in ways we can never explain. 

This world that we live in, is always attempting to teach us that real love is easy, always sexy, and  beautiful…according to the “world’s” standards.

We are led to believe that we all need to be “sexy” and are bombarded with companies that want to fill that need.  With skin care, cosmetics, hair products, books, health drinks, drugs, clothes, plastic surgery…the list goes on and on.

We are also led to believe that the moment our marriage (or relationship) is no longer the way the world deems it should be, in order to be fulfilled and happy, we must leave that marriage.

Don’t believe the lie.

True love is not always pretty.  True love is not always “sexy.”  True love is not always easy.

However, true love touches us and fills us like nothing else.  It is the one thing that we are looking for and is always there right before our eyes.

We just need to open our eyes

To see the beauty of a couple working through struggles that are piercing their hearts like daggers…but they refuse to give up on each other, or their marriage.

To see the beauty of a family, engulfed in pain and grief, surrounding their dying loved one with love, peace, and comfort. And to see the beauty of a soul detaching from this world, and being drawn to another.

To see the beauty of aging, and to realize that those “old” people we are seeing, and sometimes ignoring, have a lifetime of wisdom and experience that they could share with us…if we would just take the time to listen.

To see the beauty in those with open hearts, and no matter what they are experiencing in their own personal lives, always have the time to give something of what they have.

To see the beauty of suffering.  Yes…suffering will always exist in this world.  The beauty comes in uniting our suffering with Jesus on the cross, looking past the pain and hardship, and seeing Jesus through it all.

To not just focus on the risen Christ, but on the real love and suffering it took to get to that place.  Jesus did not save us by the “love” that the world teaches.  It was not pretty, or easy.

What it was…was REAL.

What Jesus gave us is everything.

Do we understand what “real” and true love really are?  Do we truly understand?

Real is the suffering, and the giving, that eventually show up as “most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby.”

“Once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.

Being real doesn’t happen all at once.  “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.”

Being real is the day to day infusion of God’s love, and the openness to truth and mercy.

Let us all strive to be real. That is what the world truly needs.


17 thoughts on “Becoming Real

  1. What a beautiful, thoughtful post. You make me want to reread the Velveteen Rabbit. I love, “Once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” With that understanding, we learn to appreciate those unlike us. Thank you!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for your comments:-) Yes, it is most important to see the beauty in all…especially those that are unlike us. And I also believe that it is important to help people to see the realness and beauty inside them…through the love in our eyes.


  2. Your thoughts hit home today. My husband died 10 months ago and I haven’t been able to listen to a love song since that day. On my way to the grocery store a few hours ago I forced myself to slide a CD in that I listened to when we were together. It ended up being Celine Dion’s “Power of Love”. Of course, the tears started immediately. Our love affair lasted 40 years and I was reminded what a strong and beautiful love we still have. He will always be with me. When I wiped the tears and got myself together to go into the store, I realized I was smiling. Thank you for also reminding me what real love is.😊

    Liked by 1 person

    • Veronica, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I know this is still a painful and difficult time for you, and I also know that you have been blessed with the heart to journey through it. I love you and will always be here for you. Jim will always live through all of us that knew and loved him…he was one of a kind:-)


  3. Wow, so beautifully said. You have such a big loving heart.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. What beautiful insight of what should be the focus of our lives. It takes me back to what life looked like in my younger years and so worth realizing what it should look like now. Thank you for this reminder!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Thank you Dear friend;

    I few day’s ago we buried my best friend and mentor of 59 years.

    God and I knew this was coming and God already filled the void with my 5 year old great granddaughter. What an amazing God we have when we permit God do round our sharp edges.

    May Jesus continue to guide our path,

    Liked by 1 person

    • May God bless the soul of of your dear friend, and bless you with His love and comfort. Grandchildren are definitely a special blessing from God:-)

      Your sister in Christ,


  6. Amen and this is one of my favorite stories too.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. What a beautiful post, on one of my favorite children’s stories.
    I think I will have to read it again–we have a copy, or course, even though my children are in their 30s now, I couldn’t part with such a lovely profound story. Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Beautiful reflection on a heart-wrenchingly tender quote

    Liked by 1 person

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