Many years ago, I was in the beginning stage of my search to “find myself.” I had absolutely no clue who I was, and what my purpose was in this life.
Mainly, I did all the things that were expected of me, and depended on the thoughts and opinions of those around me to dictate what I “should” or “shouldn’t” be. During this time, I did the best I could with my responsibilities, tried to live a good life, and loved my family and friends in the best way I knew. But I was aware that something was missing inside of me.
Basically, I was floating.
I didn’t realize at the time, that the true, life changing search would not be directed toward myself…ultimately, the search would be to get to know God, which would lead me to loving and serving Him.
I had no way of knowing that my true identity wasn’t contained in what the world thought of me.
My identity is that I am a child of God…and I was created to be with Him for eternity. He created me (just as He created you) because I was meant to be here…at this moment in history. I was created to be called to His Kingdom…just as you were! We are all an integral part of His Salvation Plan and He is calling us to spread the Love of Jesus through The Gospel…are we willing to answer that call?
What could possibly be a more important purpose than that?
Today, I found some notes regarding The Beatitudes, that I had written back in those early years…when my search had just begun. The ideas were found in an awesome book, “God’s Psychiatry,” and I would like to share what reached out to me, and stayed in the back of my mind all through the years:
To be poor in spirit means to give up our pride
To mourn means to be penitent to the point of surrendering ourselves
Meekness means that we must surrender our very selves to the plans and purposes of God
Our hunger for God means turning away from our ambitions for all things else
To be merciful means to pay good for the evil we have received
For purity we must give up all things impure
To make peace is wholly to choose God
These are the seven ingredients of righteousness. They must be bought at a price.
Blessed are those who pay the price, “for theirs is the Kingdom of God.”
My hope is that you are blessed with the knowledge that you are a Child of God…that YOU were specifically created to spend eternity with Him. Don’t waste the opportunity to get to know God, and to understand His purpose in your life. He is waiting for you.
Sometimes, the feelings that we keep hidden deep inside, are set free by unexpectant glimmers and moments. For me, those feelings were released in a tangible way while I was grocery shopping a few days before Easter.
I have always especially loved Easter for what it means to me spiritually, and also for the traditions that were shared with me by my parents and family. I have attempted to pass those same traditions to my sons and their families, however, they do not hold Easter and traditions as close to their hearts as I have and still do…meaning that I was trying to celebrate Easter in a new way…without sharing Easter Mass, Easter baskets, flowers, colored eggs or a special Easter Dinner with our whole family. It is a time of change for me, and I am working on what that truly means.
So… I needed to pick up some groceries, and when I enterd the store, I was overcome with the beauty of all the flowers that were being displayed for Easter/Spring. Of course I LOVE flowers, and started to make my way up and down the displays…admiring the beauty. As I was taking in the joy of all those arrangements, I was overcome with emotion.
I don’t have my mom anymore, to buy flowers for. I no longer have my mother in law to buy flowers for. And now I don’t have my sister, who was also like a mother to me, to buy flowers for.
In that one moment, such sadness welled up inside of me, that it was hard to leave that spot and keep on going.
Now, Mothers Day is on its way, and there will be no cards for me to send, and no flowers to buy. The three women who were there for me, and who I loved immensely are just gone. They live in my heart, however, they are no longer there for me to show love and gratitude for all the ways that they impacted my life.
The older I get, the more I realize that the most important things in this world are love and relationships. Actually, when I think of it, they are the ONLY important things in this world, because love and relationships are the pieces of ourelves that we leave to the world when we die.
Everything else disappears from reality when the ones you love are taken from you.
Be aware of the “loves” in your life. Share your time and your heart with them. Take the time to bring happiness into their lives. Flowers and love are meant to be shared during life…don’t put off and wait to bring joy to others. Do it now.
We never know what tomorrow will bring, or how long we will have with those that we love and that love us.
Reach out now…
To those that are close to you, and also to all those that may need an extra little gift of love to get through their day. We all know of or come across many through our day to day life, that are suffering inside, due to loneliness. Reach out now…while you still have the opportunity.
May God bless all of us, and open our eyes to the needs of others. We are all here for eachother…let’s find ways to lighten the burdens that are kept well hidden within the hearts of so many.
I would like to share an experience with you. This is not the only spiritual event that has happened to me, but for some reason, I am feeling compelled to share this one. My faith does not require any litmus test or miracles to prove God’s existence. I have complete faith in God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I also believe that God’s angels are all around us, continuously doing the will of God. Sometimes, I believe, we catch a glimpse of the angelic world. This is one of those glimpses.
When I was about 25 years old, I would drive across town to Mass early on Sunday mornings. My husband would stay with our son, who was about two years old, and very “active”. Actually, our priest called him a “live wire”. Needless to say, I looked forward to my time alone with God.
It was a quiet morning, around 8am, and there was no traffic at all. The roads were empty. I was getting nearer to the Church and saw that the light was green up ahead. It did not just turn, it was clearly green. As I was getting closer to the light, a male voice said very sternly, STOP NOW. I didn’t even think about it. I obeyed and slammed my foot on the brake, and stopped right before the green light. A car flew through the red light. I am sure I would have been killed if I hadn’t stopped.
I have always known it was my guardian angel that protected me that morning. Really, what other explanation could there be? I have no doubt that heaven, hell, angels, and demons exist. There would be other spiritual events in my life that intensified my faith.
So, my question to you is, have you ever had an experience that cannot be explained in worldly terms? I believe that angels are all around us, and are working in perfect harmony with God. Sometimes, for a reason unknown to us, we are given the privilege of experiencing the spiritual realm. For me, the experiences confirm and strengthen my faith. I think sometimes people are afraid to share their experiences with anyone…maybe they just try to ignore what they know happened…because they cannot explain it.
Your experiences, together with your faith, can be a blessing that allows you to touch a heart in need. Whether or not angels are involved…
Psalm 91:11-12 “For He will give His angels charge of you, to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone.”
Matthew 18:10 “Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, that in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in Heaven.”
Psalm 34:7 “The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear Him, and He delivers them”
This past post touches my heart in a way I did not understand when I originally wrote it. Hopefully, it will touch yours:
I love to go for walks during my lunch break at work. It is a wonderful time to pray the rosary and meditate. There is a beautiful, quiet open space toward the back of the building, and I usually feel drawn to that area.
For many months, while walking, I heard the words “Open your eyes and you will see”. I knew the words came from God, however, I did not know what they meant.
While at a prayer meeting, the words were made crystal clear to me. One of the women there spoke a prophecy…and I knew it was directed at me. I actually got goose bumps. She said “There is someone here who is looking to see with new eyes. I am telling you to stop praying in the old way. Pray in me and through me.” I understood that meant for me to stop praying to a God that is “out there somewhere” and start praying in Him and through Him…in and through my own heart and soul. He is as close as my own heart. Isn’t that amazing? I never thought of it like that…
Fast forward a few weeks…it was a beautiful Spring day…about 80 degrees, and I just HAD to go outside in the sunshine!!! While on my walk, at my favorite place, I received a new message – “Are you ready to see?”
Up until today, I believed that the Lord was guiding me to open my eyes to the need around me. I still believe that, and am working on being aware and keeping my eyes and heart open to see the opportunities of each day…and to show love in any way I can. But I believe it goes further…
I believe that He is reminding me to be prepared.As in “Are you READY to see”? Hmm…am I ready to be used for God’s purpose? That can only be achieved bybecoming closer to Him, through scriptures, prayer, and meditation. So I am really working on the preparation, so the Lord can use me, according to His Divine Plan.
Each one of us plays an important part of His plan, to share the Gospel of Christ and build His kingdom. Are you feeling Him drawing you closer?
I am trusting that God will complete what He has begun in me, and have chosen to turn my life over to Him. “I am the handmaid of the Lord, let it be done unto me according to His word”.
Luke 1:38 And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.
Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ
Today, I received the following words to share with you. I pray that they touch your heart, as they did mine, and help you to grow in your relationship with Jesus.
Why are you fighting against me? You have heard that quiet voice in your heart as I speak to you…but you tune me out. You have felt the direction that I am guiding you toward; however, you ignore me and continue on your familiar path. You see the wonder and beauty of my creation all around you each day, but you choose to skim over all those beautiful sights I specifically place in front of your eyes, and replace them with worldly glitter and gaudy replications. And you wonder why you feel unhappy and that “there is something missing”.
What are you waiting for? Why do you keep me waiting, with my arms outstretched in love? I ask you again, how long will you wait?
Are you waiting until you have time? What is keeping you from me?
Addictions or pleasures
Or just waiting for the “perfect” time…
Take a moment now to breathe in the peace of my spirit. You do not have to live without my grace and love any longer…it just takes a daily decision to want to be in relationship with me. All that I ask is that you open your heart, and allow me to live within you. Allow the Holy Spirit to heal the darkness that you are fighting to hide deep within yourself. You feel far away from me because of the darkness that lurks…I understand that darkness and am waiting for your invitation for me to wipe it away and replace it with my light.
It is your decision…how long will you choose to wait?
It was always my belief that as my relationship with Jesus grew, and my understanding of The Catholic Faith became stronger, that somehow my mind and soul would become enlightened, and I would be infused with deep spiritual truths and secrets that were not available to everyone.
I was waiting for the illumination of truth that was outside of myself…kind of like waiting for the universe to open to me and for “magic” to happen.
In reality, something very different is happening. The more I learn and grow, and the more I pray, a different illumination is taking place that I never expected…even though I actually prayed for it.
I prayed that The Holy Spirit would shine light into the darkness that exists in my soul, and draw the unknown dark areas out, that I may be healed and filled more fully with his Presence. When I prayed those requests, I am not sure I even thought about how this would happen…how God would heal me.
I put my trust in the healing power of Jesus, and asked Him to work in me and through me.
The illumination that is occurring is not enlightening me with unknown secrets that will magically make things better. It is not an easy or instantaneous fix.
What I am experiencing, is the revelation, one by one, of forgotten sins. Ways that I offended God, ways that I hurt other people. Past sins that were committed due to my lack of faith, and also due to my weaknesses and bad choices. And also sins that I am guilty of now, and how those sins have hurt and are still hurting those that I love.
What is being illuminated, is how I have sinned against God in so many ways, and how I am not worthy.
Through this difficult process, I feel guilty, ashamed, horrified, helpless, vulnerable, and very small. I wonder how Jesus could still love me, through all of that muck.
And then I remember… Jesus never left me. He was always right there, suffering alongside me, through all the pain I went through… even though I found many ways of pulling away from him or keeping him at arms length.
As I am convicted of sin after sin, I am extremely grateful for the Sacrament of Reconciliation. That through my confession, Jesus himself forgives me through the Priest who is my confessor, and I am given grace through that sacrament.
If there are dark areas that you are struggling with, know that Jesus is right there with you, waiting for you to acknowledge them. Trust in Jesus, and in the Sacrament of Reconciliation that he gifted you with in His Holy Catholic Church. Reach out for the graces and peace that await you.
He loves you and is waiting for you…don’t keep him waiting too long.
For nothing is hidden that will not be disclosed, nor is anything secret that will not become known and come to light. Luke 8:17
May the God of peace himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept sound and blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do this. 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24
Last night my husband and I had the most entertaining and special time. We had our 23 month old grandson, Brayden, over for a sleepover.
What fun! We all enjoyed each and every minute that we shared together. You know what moments I am talking about. The ones that are completely special while doing nothing special.
Moments spent building houses with blocks, reading favorite books, giggling together while Brayden paraded around in our shoes and slippers, being with him as he pointed to all the interesting things he found, including snow globes that completely fascinated him, and wind up Santas and Snowmen that played music. Time flew by as we sang songs, cuddled, and were just plain goofy together.
When it was Brayden’s bedtime, I thought that it was the end of our beautiful night together…and we started his bedtime ritual. His jammies were on, his teeth were brushed, and his stories were read. I cuddled with him a little, and as I rocked him, I felt his little head nestle into my neck. What a precious feeling that is!
Sooo…I laid him down in his cushioned pack and play, in the spare room, for the night.
Now, I have watched him many times, and he is a good napper and sleeper for me. When it is at his house. But although he feels secure with us, he wasn’t so sure about spending the night in a different room and a different bed..even with his familiar sound machine and favorite blanket.
As I turned out the light, and started to close the door, I heard him whimper my name in the most pitiful little cry. All I heard was a faint “Gigi.” (his name for me…pronounced GeeGee with a hard G) He melted my heart, and I turned back to him.
His pained little face with tears welling in his eyes were all I needed to gather him back in my arms to comfort him.
I know at this point, many will “judge” me because I shouldn’t spoil him! However, grandmas are not bound by all the same rules as parents:-)
The best part of the night was the forty five minutes that followed, and will remain in my heart forever.
I laid the little guy down in his makeshift bed, and told him it was time for sleep. As I rubbed his back, I told him I would stay with him. I turned out the light, closed the door, and laid down on the floor right next to him. He was positioned in the corner of the playpen, and I was facing him, with only the netting between us. It was completely dark, so we could not see each other.
He was quiet, and I could hear his rhythmic breathing. After about fifteen minutes, I thought he was sleeping.
Then, I felt his presence close to me, and his warm breath breathing down on me. I heard a whispered “Gigi” and realized that he had popped his head up in the darkness to see if I was still there. I answered, “Gigi is here,” and he laid back down without a sound. We went through the exact same scenario about five or six times before he felt safe enough to fall asleep.
What really touched my heart, as his grandma, was the inner knowing…that he was looking to me for comfort, and trusted me in a way that allowed him to feel secure enough to “let go”.
He just needed to know if I was still there.
My mind turned to this Bible Verse:
At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them, and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:1-4
Unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
How can we humble ourselves like a child, so that we can enter the kingdom of heaven?
One way would be to follow Brayden’s example. When he was afraid in the darkness, in his innocence he called out my name…just to make sure I was still there. He could not see me, but he knew my voice when I answered him, and he felt my presence. He didn’t stop himself from calling out time after time. Once he felt secure that I was with him, he had no trouble falling asleep. He slept peacefully all night.
And when he woke up in the morning, and called out to me, I was still there for him.
We should never be afraid to call out to Jesus when we are afraid, hurt, or in darkness. As many times as we need to. In our darkness and despair, we will learn to feel His Presence and hear His voice. Sometimes, it will take many cries, of “Jesus, are you there?”
Once you feel the love of Jesus wash over you, like Brayden you will be able to finally let go. As you learn to recognize the voice of Jesus, you will find the peace and mercy that will allow your spirit to rest comfortably in the knowledge that you are loved, and you are never alone.
Always remember that truth…you are loved and you are never alone!
Recently, my heart and mind have been reminded of the truth that we all face each day. Many of us refuse to see or acknowledge this truth, some of us are ignorant or apathetic to this truth, and some have made the decision to be seduced and to intermingle and accept the darkness that accompanies this truth.
My eyes have been opened to the truth of the unseen in our midst. Among the unseen is the demonic realm and evil. If you are not aware that it exists, and are not protected by the saving grace of Jesus, you are leaving many open windows for satan and his evil demons to enter your soul.
For you that do not accept that this realm exists, and maybe are even chuckling to yourself as you read this, I pray that you take a few moments right now to pray for the Holy Spirit to shine a light on any darkness in your own heart, and that the scales are removed from your eyes.
When you don’t know your enemy, you will be deceived and wounded. When you don’t understand that we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places…you will not have the tools necessary to understand and see what is at work in your friends, family, yourself, and the world in general.
It is so obvious to me now. The Lord is teaching me, and working through me on many levels, as he is with all of you who are sincerely seeking him and loving him through obedience. Although we all still stumble and fall through sin, we rely on Jesus to help us get back up on our feet, loving us and forgiving us as we ask and accept his forgiveness. As we align ourselves with him and walk in his ways, we are more and more filled with truth, and we begin to see people, and the world, with a clarity that we did not possess before.
When I see the intense struggles and suffering of so many around me, I am acutely aware that the majority of them, Christians included, are clueless about the real reasons for their misery. They blame the misery, suffering, and hopelessness on people or circumstances of this world. They don’t understand and have not truly proclaimed victory through Jesus Christ! He is the way, the truth and the life. He is our hope…he is waiting for us to trust in him, and give him all of our sufferings, doubts and pain. He suffered for us, he already paid the price for our sins. He is the one who we can truly give our lives to and trust his perfect love for us. He is our protection against the evil spirits around us and is our saving grace.
For those of you who proclaim the name of Jesus, and proclaim your Christianity, I have a few things to ask that you ponder. And remember, I live in the same world that you do…and are tempted in most of the same ways you are. Maybe you will be disturbed and defensive by some of what I ask you…however, if something stirs anger or an uncomfortable nudge in your soul, it may be something to pray about, and ask that the Holy Spirit will reveal any dark areas in your life and heal you from the inside out.
What do you willingly allow into your heart, and the hearts of your loved ones on a daily basis? How does your life glorify Jesus?
What movies or TV shows are you watching? Are you watching intense violence and gore, stories about promiscuity/sexual sin that include nudity? Are you watching shows that glorify a “new” kind of family…a family that stands for many things against that of a true godly family? Do you find yourself laughing it off as “just a movie”, or making excuses, that God doesn’t care about a movie or show you are watching? Are you one of the Christians who supported, watched and enjoy entertainment such as “Fifty Shades of Grey?”
Are you supportive of a woman’s “right to choose?” Do you really believe that The Holy Spirit is responsible for mutilating and killing babies in the womb, and filling the soul of the mother and all those that are assisting in this horror with darkness and pain? What spirit do you believe is filling and numbing minds to this evil that is occurring as commonplace in our world?
What music are you listening to? Do you really believe that the music you fill your whole being with, is leading you closer to Jesus (love) or is glorifying your Father in Heaven?
Have you read any books lately that bring you closer to Jesus and help you on your walk with him? Are you reading about your faith, and everything that your faith or denomination stand for? Are you reading The Word of God…the Bible? Or are you reading something else entirely…
Do you dabble with evil…the occult, astrology, mediums, the paranormal, transcendental meditation?
Do you find your joy in overindulging yourself with food, alcohol, drugs or sex?
Are you living in sexual sin…married or unmarried? Do you allow pornography in front of your eyes?
Are you constantly comparing your life to others? Why can’t you have more material things, more beauty, more success…never understanding that God has blessed you uniquely, according to his purpose in your life?
Do you allow the evil in the world to take away your joy? Are you allowing it to penetrate your heart with hate, fear or apathy?
Do you forgive those who have hurt you deeply, whether it be physical, emotional or spiritual?
Are you discerning of the ones you associate with? Do you look for the fruits of the spirit in their life? Not just personality, but true integrity of heart?
Do you believe that your purpose on earth is to just “be happy?” Is your personal happiness the focal point of your day to day life?
Do you engage with those living in darkness by sharing the light of Christ or by encouraging or condoning their confusion and error due to “political correctness?”
Are you trapped in pride, arrogance or bitterness?
Many things to think about in our day to day decisions. Which decisions bring us closer to Jesus, which ones glorify our Father? Which ones open windows to satan and his evil demons, allowing them to slowly fill our hearts with darkness and despair? Satan is THE DECEIVER and will twist truth to confuse us…if we don’t know and accept this truth we will not be able to discern spirits and will not know how to arm ourselves against such evil.
Jesus is love. Jesus dispels darkness, for he is The Light. Jesus heals. Jesus is victorious. Jesus is our power. Through Him we are saved. Through His Word we are protected.
I pray that the Holy Spirit opens your heart and fills you with His peace, love, and joy. I pray that you are filled with a new understanding of the depth that you are loved by Jesus, and that you are made aware of the importance of staying close to Him that loves you, carrying your daily cross in union with Him. I also pray that your heart and soul be protected against the evil one, and that you hide yourself in the love of your Lord.
11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;
19 And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel,
20 For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.Ephesians 6:11-20
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 14:6
13For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ.14And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.15Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.2 Corinthians 11:13-15